When Autumn Comes
by Littlerainbowfish
Summary: Autumn left La Push in hopes of a new start on life. Four years later she is back and with a new life growing inside her. As she struggles with new adjustments, life throws one more curveball at her and lets her run into Embry.
1. Postive

Driving back to La Push was something I was never planning on doing again. When I moved after high school I had the chance to completely reinvent myself. I was no longer known as the "crazy girl who thought she saw a vampire and werewolf", I was just known as Autumn, the girl who was just crazy. Moving to California had done wonders to my self esteem but driving over the reservation line made the shy mousy girl come sneaking back.

I turned my music up a notch to drown out my surroundings and tried to steady my breathing. I knew the roads like the back of my hand so getting to Emily's house was like second nature to me. I parked my car behind her familiar Subaru and turned my engine off so all that could be heard was rain mixed with my shallow breathing. I kept telling myself that I was doing the right thing, that I had made the right decision. The decision of course to keep the child I was carrying and leaving behind the party life that had gotten me into this situation.

After sitting for about a half hour I stepped out of my car and quietly shut the door, it was a little past midnight by the time I arrived finally so I just decided Emily would see me in the morning. I opened my trunk and grabbed my backpack before finally getting enough courage to walk up the front porch steps and find the spare key under the fake bear statue. I made a mental note to tell Emily to change that hiding spot considering it hasn't changed in the last 4 years I've been gone. I held my breath as I unlocked the door and quietly stepped inside, I could smell the dinner that was just made a few hours ago. Beef stew and biscuits, my stomach rumbled.

I crept into the living room and found the couch in the dark room. I sat my bag down quietly before curling up beside it using it as a pillow. I let out a quiet sigh before closing my eyes in hopes of some sleep before morning.

_I sat on the edge of my bathtub in my small apartment staring at the little blue stick in hopes of seeing one pink line. A negative. I held my hands and tried to focus on not crying. Tried to focus on not screaming. Tried to focus on not hyperventilating. I couldn't believe how stupid I was and how stupid I've been. For the past four years I've been free from my past life in my hometown, I've been finding and reinventing myself miles and miles away. But one stupid decision could have just ruined it all. I heard my oven timer go off, the sign that it was time to look at the stick that held my future. I looked at the stick to see what I hoped wasn't going to be there. A positive. _


	2. Sam

"Autumn?"

"Autumn?"

I heard my name a few times before I finally opened my eyes remembering what was happening and where I was. I went to Emily's house last night. I had drove all day and night from my apartment in California to be here. To ask Emily for help. To ask her for some sort of advice and safe haven.

I sat up and looked towards where the voice had called my name to see Sam standing in the doorway to the living room. He looked just like I remembered. Short hair, hard but tired looking face, and eyes that had a guard up about them. I hadn't seen Sam since my graduation night when I packed a bag and told Emily I was moving to restart my life. I hadn't seen Sam since I swore I saw him turn into a werewolf and got labeled crazy by the rest of my family. They all tried to chuck it up to be me going crazy from being in this small town and all the stress from about to graduate but I know what I saw.

"Sam," I simply said as I hoped Emily would soon be behind him. In hopes that Emily wanted me here again.

_"Hey sis, it's me...Autumn, I know you've been trying to reach me these last few years and I'm sorry I've been MIA. I've gotten all the Christmas cards and the birthday cookies. I've seen the photos of my niece. But um, Emily I need to come home. I need help. I've gotten into a mess here and I can't dig myself out of it like I could at home. Anyways...I'll be at the house by tonight. Love you."_

I thought about my voicemail I had left yesterday morning and thought about how I never gotten a reply. What if she didn't reply as a message saying not to come? What if she didn't want me here? Would she be mad I let myself in? I stood up and walked over to him, not sure rather to hug him or brush by him and find Emily. I was glad when he reached out and gave me the same hug he always gave me, a small tight squeeze that always cracked my back. I gave him a small smile thinking about what I saw all those years ago but I buried it deep down for the moment and soaked in the welcome.

"Does Emily know you were coming?" The question answered my fears. Maybe she ignored the message. Which is why she didn't answer my call. Maybe she did infact hate me for leaving. I bit my lip and walked back to the old couch that had been in the same spot for years.

"I called," I shrugged and moved my backpack so he could sit too.

"She was acting funny yesterday so maybe that's why," he said more to himself then to me. Why didn't she tell him I was coming? Maybe she thought I was bluffing.

"I called and left a message saying I was driving up yesterday. I got in late last night so I just used the spare key. Which, change the hiding spot. That's dangerous to keep in the same spot from four years ago," I scolded him thinking about how many times my apartment in California was broken in to because of something stupid like that. Also scolding myself silently for still not realizing the neighbor across the hall had been watching me move the key for months before I caught him.

"I'll move it today," he laughed a bit. "So why are we back Autumn?" The question came out quiet, kind of like a whisper. Like he knew I'd only come back if I was on the run or if I had gotten knocked up by god knows who during some party I was drunk at. I grabbed my bag off the floor and opened the side zipper to pull out the test, I handed it to him quietly watching his face.

"Autumn..." Sams whole face looked blank, like he didn't know what to say. Like he didn't know what to ask next. So I helped him out by just saying it all for him.

"The last four years I've been living Sam. I've been partying and meeting people and being loud. Being wild. Being free," I let out a small sigh before continuing. "I'll admit I haven't been the most careful. I've gotten into a few bar fights. I've gotten my house broken into a lot. I've gotten robbed once or twice and had cops called on me for my own parties. But this...I've hooked up with a lot of people Sam. But I never expected this," I finished and took the test back, shoving it into my bag. He sat blank for a few moments and when he was about to say something we heard it.

Footsteps down the hallway coming straight for the living room.


	3. Pink

A small girl appeared in the doorway. A small girl who looked just like Emily. This must be my neice. I first got a babyshower invitation back three years ago. Then a first birthday invitation. Then a Christmas card with her on it. Then another and another. I ignored them all. My stomach twisted in guilt seeing this small child in front of me knowing I was her Aunt but that she probably, if she knew about me at all, knew I was the crazy Aunt who left and never met her. Sam got up to go greet her when we heard another set of feet. These were quieter, nervous almost. Like the owner of said feet didn't want to turn the corner.

I stood up and started towards the steps myself, I rounded the corner, ignoring the little girls confused look and came face to face with someone who looked similar to me. Same chocolate brown eyes, same black hair except hers was in a messy bun and mine was half way down my back in curls, and same tan skin. We stood there for a moment looking at each other.

Her hair had little baby grays in the front. Her scars on her face were less angry now. Her eyes tired and the bags under her eyes told me she didn't sleep last night, which means she knew when I got here. Her body seemed more filled out now since having a child, she was no longer bones. She still had a scent of cleaning products and cookies like I remember.

She was staring at me like she was trying to figure me out. She looked at my long black hair, knowing the last time she saw it I had it cut short out of teenage rebellion. She looked at my tattoos on my arms and my nose ring. She looked at the bracelet on my wrist that she gave me when we were kids. She looked at the scar above my eyebrow from my last bar right.

"Mommy, who is this?" The little girl snapped us out of our staring contest. I looked down at her not knowing if I should answer or how I should answer. Emily looked like she was also having a hard time explaining.

"This is mommy's sister," Sam said from behind us. I looked at the little girl for a moment hoping Emily would talk but nothing came. So I introduced myself the best way I could. I bent down to her height and held out my hand.

"I'm Autumn," I whispered trying not to disturb whatever peace was happening around me. The little girl took my hand and smiled brightly.

"I'm April, come see my room," and just like that she was dragging me down the hallway while Emily stood frozen in her spot and Sam went to comfort her.

Maybe I was right, she didn't want to see me again.

I stepped into April's room and saw all the pink in the world. Pink bedding, pink curtains, pink walls. I chuckled at the thought of Sam playing tea party in the corner with her in this pink room. I look at the picture frames on her wall to see a happy family. Emily, Sam and April during parties. Campfires. Holidays. I saw pictures of April with another little girl, both holding up those charms that said best friends. This three year old had one happy life by the looks of it and it made me feel even more guilty I ignored her existence.

"That's my best friend Claire," April said from across the room pulling clothes out of her dresser. More pink. I nodded my head and sat on the edge of her bed. I never spent much time with kids. Could I have one myself? Could I get rid of one though? Could I be a good mom? It's not like I ever had a real good mother figure other then Emily who spent her whole life taking care of me. Then I just threw it all in her face and ignored her for four years.

"Can you help me?" I was snapped out of my thoughts with April standing in front of me asking if I could zip up this sparkly lavender dress. I nodded and moved her chestnut hair out of the way before zipping it. She did a twirl but before I could say anything she squealed in delight.

"The boys are here," she jumped up and down before grabbing my hand again and dragging me back out of the room.


	4. Cute

The boys? April was bringing me into the kitchen to be greeted by some faces that I slightly remember. In front of me stood five boys all trying to get ahold of breakfast that had appeared on the counter. How long was I in April's room for? I never even smelt anything being cooked. I looked at the boys and started to recognize them a bit more. Jacob Black has been in my grade. Along with Quil and Embry, standing right next to him, those three were always inseparable even then. I saw the most anger filled man Paul trying to snatch a sausage before getting smacked with a spoon. Then finally I saw him...Seth. My baby cousin Seth. Except he wasn't a baby anymore. He was tall. He has muscles. Seth had muscles. Sam cleared his throat at the table behind his newspaper to get everyone's attention.

"Boys were going to have a guest stay with us for a bit. Any of you remember Emily's sister, Autumn," the way he said my name was careful. Like he was trying t get a message across to them without saying anything more. Before I could think more into it all eyes turned to me and while they did that I saw a small hand sneak a pancake down from the counter.

"Autumn!" Seth was the first to yell out. Seth was always loving. Caring. Sweet. I hoped that never changed. He ran over to hug me and I fully embraced it. Seth was five years younger then me and he was always my favorite in the family. He pulled back and stared at me for a minute.

"I dig the scar," he winked looking at the nic above my eyebrow. I laughed thinking of the fight that put it there and how it would always be on my face.

_"You bitch!" I heard from across the bar. I was dancing with a cute guy not really caring about what time it was or who was around us. If things went right he would come home with me tonight. I heard gasps in the crowd and yelling so I figured the girl who screamed across the bar had started a fight. Well, I was wrong. The fight hadn't started yet because she just made it in front of me. I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned I left the glass shatter on my head. I felt a cold drink instantly mix with warm liquid. Blood. I wiped my eyes to see clearly to see what was going on. A shorter blonde girl with a tight dress was standing in front of me. Her green eyes full of rage and her hands balled up ready to throw down. I'm guessing I was dancing with her boyfriend. I sighed before throwing a punch to her nose and kissing the guy once more. I took off running through the crowd hearing her scream more behind me. _

"Oh this old thing?" I replied to Seth thinking that I would come up with some story on how I got it that was better then the truth. Seth smiled again and turned me to the boys.

"You remember the guys right? You shoulda graduated with them," and he was right. I had. Or let me rephrase, the boys had graduated but they didn't walk the stage like I did. They all had started disappearing about a week beforehand. Everyone just thought since all exams were done that they took off. But now I know the truth. They didn't take off, they never left the town, they were just hanging around Sam.

"If it's not crazy Autumn," Paul chuckles while getting smacked again trying to get a sausage. I groaned inward at the nickname. At how everyone still thought I was crazy still for saying what I know I saw. I gave a small wave, feeling my old self appear again, making me think the person I had been all these years was just a show I was putting on in California for people. That I was truly just shy and quiet.

"Paul, shut up," I heard Emily speak for the first time. Her voice the same as I remember, soft spoken but authority laced within it. I smiled at her while she flipped another pancake knowing that she still cared for me after all. Even after all the shit I pulled. Emily practically raised me seeing as our parents weren't really around. The we're always working too much or sleeping to be actual parents. They kept food on the table and a roof over our heads but never gave us the love or attention we needed. So Emily and I pulled towards each other to get any of that. Emily showed up to all my art shows I was in during school and I showed up to all her debates when she was in high school, even if I never understood what she was fighting for. Emily and I spent everyday together and then I just left one day, which made me realize how shitty of a sister I was. How I turned my back on the one person who was always there just because of a mishap.

Emily was the first person I told when I saw what I saw. I went running to the house to warn her, that Sam was a werewolf. That the stories were true. That he was fighting a cold one and that we needed to leave. Emily wouldn't listen. Told me I was crazy and that I was probably just tired from all the stress of final exams. I argued and argued but once Leah heard what I was saying she made sure everyone knew. Maybe Emily had also felt bad about calling me crazy, about pushing aside my concerns. Pushing aside me while she was focusing on Sam, the man I thought was a werewolf like the stories. The man that I knew gave her the scars I just wasn't sure how and knew I couldn't ask. How I knew the scars weren't from a bear attack like Emily claimed.

"Hey autumn, come sit and eat," I heard Jacob call over pulling me away from my thoughts. I pulled the chair out next to me hearing my stomach grumble, reminding me of the thing inside it. Reminding me of why I was here.

"Emily after breakfast could we talk? It's important," I fully expected her to continue the silent treatment or to tell me that after breakfast I had to leave but neither came. Instead I heard what I had been hoping for.

"Of course," she said while coming over to sit at the table with us. I wondered what all she also had to tell me. If this was going to be like old times where we laid on her bed and gossiped.

"So what are you doing back?" Quil asked, being nosy as ever. Maybe I didn't make the right choice. Coming back to my small close knitted home town. I was pregnant, no clue how far along and I had no idea what decision I was going to make. I just knew I would feel safe here while I navigated all of this rather then California where even though I had friends, they weren't true friends. They didn't have your best intentions in mind. They would tell me to keep the baby just so they had an excuse to stop inviting me to places and ditch me.

"It's kinda complicated," I tried to reply as nonchalant as I could. I took a bite of dry toast while staring at Embry wondering why he hadn't said anything. Embry was never quiet in school so this version of him was new to me. He looked miserable as he ate his food, like something was also eating him inside.

"Hey Embry, you were in my American history class in senior year right?" I said the only thing I could think of to start a topic with him. Break any tension that was left in the room. He looked up from his fork and before he could say anything the fork cluttered onto the plate. He stuttered for a few seconds before trying to recover.

"Yeah, yeah I was. I forgot about that," he was stumbling over his words and trying to push his shaggy hair back out of his face. I nodded trying to remember if he was always this weird. I had a crush on him back then but I thought he was always cool then. Maybe because he never actually talked to me. So I never saw this fumbling mess that was across from me. I smiled to myself, cute. He was cute.


	5. Wnily

After breakfast I helped pick up all the plates on the table and put them in the sink. The boys took April outside who demanded they all play princess with her. The thought of those giants acting like little girls was hilarious. Embry stuck around for a few moments to ask if I needed any help or if he could do anything but soon got pulled away by a 3 foot tyrant. Emily and I wiped down the table and counters. Loaded up all the dishes in the dishwasher and then we got two cups of coffee and sat across from each other. The room smelled of how Emily always smelled. Cookies and cleaning supplies.

"I'm sorry to just show back up," and I genuinely was. I felt like she was walking on eggshells in her own house this morning.

"I'll ask about the last four years in a bit. But for now, what did you do?" She asked without looking up from her mug. At least she made it seem like she would let me stay , at least for a little bit. I nodded and let out a shaky sigh. My stomach was in knots and I could feel the food wanting to come back up.

"I have done a lot of stupid things over the past few years on my own. But I think this might be the stupidest," I said as I got up from the table to retrieve my bag. I brought it back in with my hand clutching the stick. "You have to not judge me," I said waiting for some sort of sign that she wouldn't. That she would try to understand and help. Try to be the big sister again she always had been. After a long pause Emily looked up and met my eyes with a soft expression.

"I won't judge," and with those few words I dropped the stick on the table in front of her. The two pink lines dark as ever. I watched her expression go from soft to shocked. Her eyes opened wide and I could see she stopped breathing. I slid the stick back over and shoved it deep into my bag again. Giving her a second to process everything before I started.

"Emily I've done a lot of things. I've partied, drank, played with a few drugs, experimented with different people, but this...Emily I always was safe in this sense. Because of this fear. But he must of not put the condom on or maybe a hole was in it," I trailed off in hopes she would say something. Like it's okay we can do this. Like what is your plan. Like what is your decision. After a solid 30 seconds and nothing coming out of her mouth I continued.

"I'm not sure who it belongs to. I've been to too many parties the last few months to keep track of. I don't know how far along I am and I don't know if I even want to keep it," I whispered the last part knowing that abortion was not a favored option.

"It's ultimately your choice and I will be behind you no matter what," she finally said with that strength in her voice I grew to miss. I nodded and took a sip of my now cold coffee. I didn't know my decision yet.

"This stays between us for now. Do you think we could make an appointment? See how far I am," I was grateful she was willing to help. That she wasn't yelling. That she wasn't judging. That she was just being my older sister, she was being normal.

"I'll call my doctor and see if I can get you in. You're still under moms insurance so it shouldn't be hard to get an appointment. Have you told mom your back around?" She must not remember how the last conversation with mom I had went.

_"You must be crazy if you think you're leaving," my mom shouted as I started packing a bag. Graduation had just ended, my parents didn't make it like they never made anything important in my life anyways. I was filled with more desire to leave when I heard the word crazy again. I was sick of being called crazy. _

_"I'm leaving mom, I can't be here anymore. I'll have no future if I stay here," I yelled back at her as I grabbed my keys off my dresser. I turned around one more time to look at my mom. To see her graying black hair, to see her worned out eyes and wrinkles. I sighed and stepped towards her to give her a last hug. But instead she stepped back and folded her arms. If she thought that was a way of keeping me here she was sadly wrong. I nodded my head and turned away and walked out the front door without looking back. _

"Yeah, Emily, I think I'm going to wait a little bit to say anything," I shrugged and opened my backpack to pull out all the cards she had sent over the years. Her face melted a little bit seeing all of them laid out.

"I just want you to know I did get them. I saved them. I'm just shitty," I laughed a bit at the end trying to lighten things up. Emily had been the only family member to keep touch with me. Or try to. When I first moved out to California I slept in my car for a few months. Worked a few waitress jobs to save money. Once I had enough for a down payment on a shitty apartment I took it then I saved more and more until I could knock one job off. I balanced two jobs along with all my messy adventures. Once my name was on the apartment Emily was able to find me through google and start sending me things. Cookies every birthday. Cards every Christmas and even an occasional letter. I saved them all.

"I'm sorry I ignored you. I'm sorry I missed April's birth and her whole life so far," I apologized with tears in my eyes. I blamed the hormones knowing I was not sensitive like this. Emily just nodded and reached out to hold my hand. She gave me three right squeezes. Our sign for a quiet "I love you". I squeezed back and gave a faint smile.

"Speaking of April, I told her I would be queen," Emily said wiping away a few tears laughing a little bit. We both stood and headed out the front door to greet the queens court in the yard.


	6. Lucy

I sat on the porch steps watching everyone play princess with April. I watched Jacob and Quil act like they were fighting over a boy. I watched Sam and Paul cringe everytime they were told they had to talk in a "princess" voice. Embry sat out behind me in a chair on the porch watching too. Emily was helping April make rules for the kingdom all while I smiled bigger then I had since I left. I forgot how much I did like it here, minus the crazy thing. I just enjoyed sitting here watching this all and not thinking about my situation.

"So...happy to be home?" I heard from behind me knowing Embry finally found courage to step sputtering his words and actually make a sentence. I turned towards him and nodded with a smile still on my face.

"Happy to be back for now," I said thinking how my future now depending on this doctors appointment and my decision.

"How long do you think you'll be here for?" He seemed full of questions. I let out a small sigh. How long would I be here for? If I kept the kid would I stay here and raise it? Find someone stupid enough to settle down with a women with someone else's child? If I got rid of it would I just leave again?

"I'm not sure. Maybe forever. Maybe only a little bit," I answered not trying to be dramatic but just answering how it was. I could stay here forever. It's not like I was going anywhere in California anyways. I was a waitress at two places, a strip club at night and a fancy hipster diner in the day. I didn't go to school and I had no real skills other then shotgunning a beer or walking in six inch heels.

"Forever would be cool," Embry snapped me out of my thoughts with a sentence that he tried to make sound nonchalant. I rolled my eyes, if I had met him in a club I would have ate him up. Then probably spit him out. No pun intended.

"Forever is debatable," I said before standing up to stretch. It was getting to be afternoon when another car pulled into the driveway. Before they even stepped out of the car I saw who was in it. Sitting in the drivers seat was Kim, a quiet girl I had known in high school who would sit at my table during lunch hour to avoid other people. She sat with me all four years and we never spoke once. Next to her was Jared, the guy she started dating senior year who would also sit at the table. He would just sit and stare at her while she read or wrote, he looked like she was heaven. Then I saw who was in the back seat.

Leah.

I felt a rush of anger when I remembered how she was the one who told everyone what I saw. Told everyone I was crazy. At least I knew Emily would just keep it between us. I balled my fists up to hold back from wanting to go punch her as they all stepped out the car. Kim and Leah were two people I never thought would become friends. Leah is an asshole. Always would be. Kim was a sweetheart. Always would be.

"Autumn?" Leah shouted as she walked up the drive to where we all stood. April ran to Kim and Jared, directing Jared to where the other boys were to play and telling Kim to go meet her aunt. I nodded at Kim just like I use to do it high school and she nodded back recognizing me. Jared gave me a small wave as he headed towards where Quil was standing looking at his phone.

"Autumn? When did you get back? Why are you back?" I heard Leah ask beside me now. I turned towards her sighing and letting my anger go.

"I got back late last night, only Emily knew I was coming. I just missed my sister," I lied knowing people would see through it but I didn't care. No one else needed to know why I was here until I made my choice. I ended the conversation on that note and headed over to my car grabbing my phone from the middle console. I opened the home screen to see missed texts and calls from friends.

Lucy texted twice asking if was going to the party that was last night and if I was okay when I didn't show. Charlie texted to ask if she could hook up with the guy that I had hooked up with the week before. Leo texted asking if we could hook up again. Three missed calls and a voicemail from my boss Alexis at the club. Two missed calls and a voicemail left from Sandra from the hispster diner. I sighed knowing lost both jobs so I didn't even need to listen to the voicemails.

I texted Lucy asking her to use my spare key to water my plants until I figured out if I was coming back or not, told her if I wasn't coming back then she can take whatever she wanted from the place. Lucy had become the only person I could call a friend there.

_"Excuse me, can you move? You're blocking the stairs," I was exhausted from working both jobs and I just wanted to go crash on my bed for the rest of the day. A girl around my height and size stood staring at her phone so no one could get past. Her hair in a messy bun and she was wearing wrinkled pajamas that smelled like she hadn't showered in days. I tapped her on her shoulder after a few seconds and finally she snapped out of whatever she was looking at. _

_"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "My boyfriend just broke up with me," she wiped tears away from her blotchy face. I sighed and rubbed my sleepy eyes. I dug through my purse and handed her my flask filled with Jim Bean. I always kept it with me incase. _

_"Apartment 203, just give it back when you can," I said shrugging before scooting around her and walking up the two flights to my floor. _

Ever since that day Lucy had been close to me. She went to every party with me. Went to every shopping spree. Met every boy or girl before I messed with them incase they tried to kill me. Knew about my life in La Push. Understood the days where I would get sad and lonely but want her to come sit with me in the tub and eat fancy wine ice cream. I felt sad thinking about leaving her but knowing she would understand in the long run.

"Why so down?" Embry asked as he stood next to my car. I looked up not realizing how long I was zoned into my phone but I guess long enough to where everyone was going inside to eat.

"My friend Lucy, I just realized I'll miss her if I stay here but I also realized I probably would miss everything here again if I went back," I tried to state my mood simply while I slipped my phone back in my pocket ignoring the other unanswered texts. My ringer was up and Lucy has a special ringtone so if she messaged I'd hear. Everyone else was irrelevant. "Lunch time?" I changed the subject as I started walking back to the house.

"She could come up. Next week is the annual town festival. She might enjoy it," he said as he followed me up the porch into the house. Maybe Embry still wasn't as stupid as I remember from high school.


	7. Friend

I decided to skip lunch with the group and go into the living room to text Lucy again. I didn't know if she would make the trip up but it was worth a shot. She was always talking a vacation, granted it always talk about going to the East coast or even out of country but hey, this could be a vacation too. I sent a text out with Emily's address and told her about the festival, telling her to be there or be square in hopes that the corny line would make her miss her best friend and come see me. I didn't tell Lucy what was happening and I felt the guilt. I was a horrible sister and friend, no wonder why people never wanted to date me, just have sex and go.

"Embry thanks for the festival idea," I called out knowing over all the noise from the next room the creep was probably listening.

_Embry sat in the front of the room in American history because he was always late. The teacher was fed up with him sneaking in all the time so now he sits right by the desk. I doodled in my notebook as Mr. Hurly went on and on about something or another. Kim sat at the desk next to me also doodling but instead of just flowers and shit like I do, she was doodling Jared's name over and over. I groaned internally. But also didn't want to admit I wanted something like that of my own. _

_"Mr. Call, are you listening?" Mr. Hurly said calling everyone's attention back to him. Embry snapped his head up as he woke from dozing off. A few kids laughed but I just rolled my eyes. As adorable as he was, he was an idiot. I've had a crush on that boy since elementary school but he never gave me the time of day. Other then to actually ask me the time of day. _

My phone dinged which brought me back to present day. I looked at my screen recognizing the ringtone and saw Lucys name. She replied with a heart saying she'd be there on Sunday. Six days away. I smiled knowing that she had become my true best friend over these few years. She would make it for the festival and hopefully by then I would know what I was doing with my future.

"If you thanked me does that mean she's coming?" Embry asked as he leaned against the doorway. I looked up from my phone and nodded.

"She'll be here by Sunday," I said thinking about how she will react to the town. I know she also grew up in a small town in Colorado before moving to California to start acting. She never landed any rolls but kept trying.

"I'm sure she'll enjoy the festival then. Emily is doing the baking for the whole thing and April is going to be marching in it with her daycare group," he said as he approached the couch to sit on the other side of it.

"Why are you talking to me so much? You realized you ignored me my whole life right," I chuckled thinking of all the times he asked for a pencil or the time but never really looked at me. Never paid attention. But I thought of all the times I looked at him. Saw him on days he was happy and goofy, telling jokes to the guys around him. Saw him on his sad days and wondered what could be wrong in his world.

"I just thought you could use a friend," he simply stated as he found the remote on the side table and clicked the tv on.

"I never really did have friends here," I said mainly to myself.

"Well you now have me," Embry said as a matter of fact. I rolled my eyes thinking it was funny if Embry thought he could try to be my friend.

"Hey Autumn," Leah said walking in the living room along with Seth. Seth practically sat on top of me and gave me a tight squeeze. I gave a small wave to Leah not sure what to say. I could ask why she told everyone. I could ask if she felt guilty for getting me labeled crazy. I could ask if she would ever stop being a bitch.

"How has life been?" She continued to try and converse. I sighed inwardly knowing I would eventually have to talk to her so why not just start small.

"Wild," I answered. Seth laughed at the answer thinking back to our banter this morning about my scar.

"Tell us about it," the question came out quiet from Embry. Like he wanted to know but also didn't. Seth nodded in agreement wanting to also know my other life.

"Well...I slept in my car for months. I worked a lot of jobs and just got fired from my two because I left for here. I met a lot of insane people and went to crazy places. I met my best friend because I gave her a flask when she got dumped. I lived in a small run down building in an extremely small apartment which got broken into a lot," I tried my best to summarize the last few years without getting into details but of course Seth asked for more.


	8. Past

"I slept in my car for awhile. I landed a job within a few days and then another and another so I would just move my car to the different jobs. I'd shower at a gym and do laundry at a laundry mat. I ate scraps from the jobs for awhile before I had enough to where I could start buying food myself," I paused for a moment thinking about how hungry I always was in the beginning.

"Once I saved up enough for a down payment on an apartment somewhere a girl at my night job told me about a cheap place I could get. I've lived in the same apartment for the past four years. My neighbor was breaking into my apartment for a while because he would watch where I put my spare key. I also met my best friend Lucy in the building. I gave her my flask to drink because she was crying and wouldn't get out my way," I looked at the confused looks and clarified.

"I didn't make her cry. Her boyfriend dumped her and she was upset," I said quickly so everyone could stop looking at me like that's all I do, make people cry.

"Anyways, Lucy opened all new doors for me. Before her I was just working all the time. After her I was working but also living. We would go to bars on nights I didn't work at the club. We would go to brunch on mornings I didn't work at the diner. We would sit and eat fancy wine ice cream when we were sad. We would make sure we met the persons hook up for the night, just incase we went missing. Which she did once," rembering the time when the creep Eric took her for a joyride instead of bringing her home like he was suppose to.

"We partied a lot. Clubs. Bars. Sometimes frat houses of colleges. We also worked a lot but always made time for each other and fun. I started collecting house plants that she's also taking care of right now. I started getting tattoos when I met a guy at a bar who showed me work he wanted to do but no one ever wanted," I mentioned to the biotanical skeleton on my arm along with a few other weird ones.

"My friend Charlie pierced my nose and now I'm terrified to take it out because of a scar. Charlie is a stripper at the club I waitress at, sweet but dumb. Means well though. But I think that's it. I worked and partied. I met new people from all over the place and I ate food that should never have been made. I mean wine ice cream? Two birds with one stone is what it is. California was fun but it also got me into trouble," I looked at Seth hoping it was enough. That he didn't push anymore because anymore would reveal my reason for being here.

Thankfully before anyone else opened their mouth, Sam walked in calling the guys for a work meeting. I forgot that Sam had a shop in town, I guess that's where the boys worked. Seth hugged me and told me he'd see me later. Embry gave me a smile and wave. I thought Leah would follow too but no. She stayed. Making it just her and I.

"So how far along?" She asked when the front door shut.


	9. Leah

I was taken back by the question. I wasn't sure if she was joking or not so I stayed quiet waiting to see if she'd press on. Which of course she did.

"How far along Autumn? You would only come back here if you were knocked up," she chuckled quietly to herself like she knew exactly why I showed up and wouldn't answer why. I sighed and called Emily in the room. Her and April came in along with another little girl, the girl from the picture I saw earlier. Claire I think it was. Kim followed behind with a glass of water in hand.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked sitting the girls at the coffee table with coloring books before sitting in the last recliner in the corner.

"Leah knows," I said monotoned not sure what this meant. Could she keep a secret? We all know how last time went when she found out something.

"Leah, you can not say anything," Emily said sternly making sure her point got across. My life was once again in Leah's hands and if she opened her big mouth my safe haven for now would be ruined.

"And what about Embry?" The question came out rude but at the time I didn't regret it. Embry was being nice but this has nothing to do with him. Or any of them really. I just mainly needed support through Emily.

"Embry will come later," Emily said quietly as she handed the blue crayon that fell on the floor back to Claire.

"This is my choice. We go to the doctors this week and until then no more talk about it," I stood up grabbing my bag feeling like dejavu happening. "I'm going to the store, anybody need anything?" I said as I made my way to the door.

"Candy!" The girls yelled and giggles together like it was the funniest thing ever. Emily and Leah said nothing but I would make sure to grab something for them as well like I always use to do.

I headed to my car ignoring the boys who sat at a picnic table near the woods. That wasn't always there so it must have been in the time I was gone. I threw my bag in the back and reached for the keys I left in the ignition and started it up. I watched Sam stand with concern on his face and Embry right next to him. I don't think they realize if I was leaving again then Emily would be running after me. Or they would have at least heard a fight and knew. But there was no yelling, just annoyance. I rolled my window down and shouted that I would be right back to calm the nerves.

I left Emily's driveway and made my way into town. Banners were being hung by locals and stores already had pictures of wolves on the doors. The whole festival is about our history, the tribes history and stories. Some kids from Forks would come but other then that it was always just our town trying to do what was a party. Kids from daycare would open with marching. Then a few floats from different stores. Then food would be lining the sidewalks for whoever wanted to eat while Quil Sr. told our stories to whoever wanted to listen.

I pulled into the towns grocery store before grabbing my wallet from the glovebox. I turned the car off and grabbed my jacket from the passenger floor to wear since it started raining. California was all sun and dry but La Push is wet and cold mostly.

"Let me know if you need anything," the teenager behind the counter said as I walked in. I could tell he was bored and didn't want to be there, that store was everyone's first job. They would hire whatever teenager walked in, said it kept them on a straight path.

I grabbed a small basket and walked in the back grabbing a few drinks. I needed caffeine to get me through days even if it was just a Pepsi. I grabbed two chocolate bars for the girls and I grabbed Salt n Vinegar chips for Leah and Emily. I even grabbed a juice that I use to see Kim drink all the time at school, if I was deciding to stay then I could use a new Lucy up here and that could be Kim. I went to the check out and grabbed a bag of beef jerky that was on the counter as well.

"Could I also get a pack of Newport reds?" I asked before giving the kid my lisence and debit card. I knew I couldn't smoke right now but if I wasn't going to keep the kid in the end then cigarettes were what I needed to have on hand.

I left the store with my bag of goodies and got back in my car. I debated going back to Emily's now but then decided to let them simmer a bit. If Leah was going to be a bitch then so was I.

I turned right towards the beach when I left the parking lot.


	10. Embry

The beach had added a few new picnic tables but other then that nothing changed. Still had the rough choppy black waters. Still had the cold wet sand that rarely ever got hot even in summer. Still had the occasional local trying to surf through the waves. Still had the looming cliffs that all the guys in town jumped off of as a right of passage deal. I sat in my car watching a man in the water get taken down over and over everytime he got up on his board. I pulled out a Pepsi from the bag and took a drink of it before pulling a granola bar from my backpack that I still had from the trip up here. I was starving but not starving enough to go back to Emily's yet and dig through her fridge. I got out my phone and scrolled through my Facebook, seeing a few photos from parties from friends and a few baby photos from other friends. I read a few posts before I got curious and searched for Emily.

She friend requested me years ago but ignored it but didn't block her. I saw her profile picture was of the last Christmas card, the one I had in my bag. Her profile was pretty boring for what I could tell, new recipes and a shared flyer for the festival. A few photos here and there of April at the beach or in the snow. A throwback to mom and us when we were kids and she actually took off work one Halloween to come out with us. Emily was a cat and I was a wolf. I scrolled back up to the top of her page and saw Sams profile was last tagged in the festival post. I clicked on it to see the same profile picture, I held back the eyeroll.

His profile was pretty private except for his friends list which of course I snooped on. I saw Seth's profile which was him smiling like an idiot at one of the campfires. I did miss that kid. I saw Jacobs profile which was him smiling standing next to his dad, good to see that man was still alive he was always so sweet. Then I got curious and searched for Embry but the picture was of someone else it looked like. The man looked sad, distant looking while sitting at one of the fires. It showed the rest of the gang looking happy and celebrating something but Embry just looked miserable. Like he did earlier this morning when I saw him for the first time again. I wrinkled my nose and decided to send a friend request, he would see all my stupidity over the last few years and I could snoop on his life too but hey, he did say he wanted to be friends.

A knock on my window made me jump. Speak of the devil and there he was. Embry stood outside my passenger window staring into the car. I sighed and nodded, giving a sign he can enter the car. I moved the plastic bag of junk to the backseat so he wouldn't squish anything. I saw the candy bars through the bag and remembered I had to give them to the girls still.

"I...we all thought you were gone again. It's been a few hours, almost dinner time actually," he rambled on before stopping.

"You're cute you know that," I said while laughing at how concerned he looked. "I yelled that I was coming back, Leah was just being a bitch so I was just gonna make her sit for awhile," I shrugged before rubbing my hands together not noticing that all the heat I had in the car was leaving from how long I had been sitting here.

"Come on, it's getting cold out," he turned the key in my ignition waiting for me to go. I looked around outside and saw no other cars, wondering how he got here but didn't question. I cranked my heat back up and put it in reverse to head back to Emily's.

"Was Emily freaking out too or just you?" I asked as we got back on the main road through town.

"No...I mean she was worried but she said you'd come back," he was looking out the window, trying not to sound like a dork but he was.

"You should have listened then idiot," I scoffed and pushed his shoulder a bit to show I was playing. Embry was a good guy, he was going to be my friend after all.


	11. Embry (10-21 08:05:21)

The beach had added a few new picnic tables but other then that nothing changed. Still had the rough choppy black waters. Still had the cold wet sand that rarely ever got hot even in summer. Still had the occasional local trying to surf through the waves. Still had the looming cliffs that all the guys in town jumped off of as a right of passage deal. I sat in my car watching a man in the water get taken down over and over everytime he got up on his board. I pulled out a Pepsi from the bag and took a drink of it before pulling a granola bar from my backpack that I still had from the trip up here. I was starving but not starving enough to go back to Emily's yet and dig through her fridge. I got out my phone and scrolled through my Facebook, seeing a few photos from parties from friends and a few baby photos from other friends. I read a few posts before I got curious and searched for Emily.

She friend requested me years ago but ignored it but didn't block her. I saw her profile picture was of the last Christmas card, the one I had in my bag. Her profile was pretty boring for what I could tell, new recipes and a shared flyer for the festival. A few photos here and there of April at the beach or in the snow. A throwback to mom and us when we were kids and she actually took off work one Halloween to come out with us. Emily was a cat and I was a wolf. I scrolled back up to the top of her page and saw Sams profile was last tagged in the festival post. I clicked on it to see the same profile picture, I held back the eyeroll.

His profile was pretty private except for his friends list which of course I snooped on. I saw Seth's profile which was him smiling like an idiot at one of the campfires. I did miss that kid. I saw Jacobs profile which was him smiling standing next to his dad, good to see that man was still alive he was always so sweet. Then I got curious and searched for Embry but the picture was of someone else it looked like. The man looked sad, distant looking while sitting at one of the fires. It showed the rest of the gang looking happy and celebrating something but Embry just looked miserable. Like he did earlier this morning when I saw him for the first time again. I wrinkled my nose and decided to send a friend request, he would see all my stupidity over the last few years and I could snoop on his life too but hey, he did say he wanted to be friends.

A knock on my window made me jump. Speak of the devil and there he was. Embry stood outside my passenger window staring into the car. I sighed and nodded, giving a sign he can enter the car. I moved the plastic bag of junk to the backseat so he wouldn't squish anything. I saw the candy bars through the bag and remembered I had to give them to the girls still.

"I...we all thought you were gone again. It's been a few hours, almost dinner time actually," he rambled on before stopping.

"You're cute you know that," I said while laughing at how concerned he looked. "I yelled that I was coming back, Leah was just being a bitch so I was just gonna make her sit for awhile," I shrugged before rubbing my hands together not noticing that all the heat I had in the car was leaving from how long I had been sitting here.

"Come on, it's getting cold out," he turned the key in my ignition waiting for me to go. I looked around outside and saw no other cars, wondering how he got here but didn't question. I cranked my heat back up and put it in reverse to head back to Emily's.

"Was Emily freaking out too or just you?" I asked as we got back on the main road through town.

"No...I mean she was worried but she said you'd come back," he was looking out the window, trying not to sound like a dork but he was.

"You should have listened then idiot," I scoffed and pushed his shoulder a bit to show I was playing. Embry was a good guy, he was going to be my friend after all.


	12. Candy

**Sorry for delays or short chapters. I have two kids and it's a difficult balance to write and take care of kids and get things done too. **

We made it back to Emily's house and made our way inside. Dinner must have just finished up because Emily and Kim were in the kitchen cleaning while the others made their way to the living room or porch. Emily's house wasn't small but also not big enough to fit all these people.

"You're back," Seth shouted when he saw us. He got up and ran over to hug me, Seth and I were closer when we were little. I looked out for him in school because before his growth spurt he had everyone made fun of him for how scrawny he was. I got made fun of all the time so I could handle it when I stepped in between the bullies, Seth had such a gentle heart though that he couldn't.

"I said I'd be back," I muttered breaking away from the hug and continued on. Embry was whispering something behind me but I didn't hear him and I don't think it was for me anyways. I walked into the kitchen and sat at the table with the bag of goodies. I threw the chips at Emily who gave me a small sly smile, she knew I was just giving Emily a hard time. She knew I was back for the time being.

"April, Claire, come here," I shouted out not sure where they were in the house. I heard small footsteps come running though after a few seconds. They bounded around the corner with smiles on their innocent faces. I pulled out the candy bars I got them and sat them on the table in front of me.

"You may have these, but first I want to learn about you," I spoke mainly to April but learning about Claire is also apart of her life. They both nod in excitement for the candy and climbed onto chairs next to me.

For hours the girls sat at the table with me and talked. They told me about the preschool they went to down the road, Kim was a teacher there and it seemed fitting for her. They told me about all the bonfire parties that they went to every weekend, it made me smile to know they still did that. They told me about how all the boys would play tea party and princess with them, I saw some of that earlier and I knew these girls had those grown men under their control.

"Girls it's time for bed," Emily came in the kitchen finally and when I looked at the clock It was already nine at night. The girls both sighed and protested that they hadn't got the candy bars yet so when they came out the bathroom after changing I slipped them the candy. They were smart and tucked them into their waistbands. I gave them both a wink and told them I'd see them in the morning before heading into the living room.

"Tomorrow we'll go into town and do that thing," Emily said once she saw me. I sat next to her on the couch to watch some game that was on the tv. Seth shouted something but I tuned it out. I nodded my head understanding what she meant. Tomorrow would be the day I'd find out how far along I am. Then it would start my moral fight. Keep the baby or not.


	13. Miscarriage

The next morning I woke up on the couch to April sitting by my feet. Claire must have been picked up or gone home already. April was munching on toast watching some cartoon, she still had a small smear of chocolate on the side of her face. I smirked before getting up to pee, I walked past the kitchen that already was filled with people. Do these guys ever go home? Or was this their home and I just missed that part?

I sat to pee before I realized something. I was bleeding.

My pants I fell asleep in had blood stained into them. My thighs had blood on them. It was like when I had first gotten my period back in seventh grade. I screamed for Emily before pulling my pants up and looking at all the blood in the toilet. I heard multiple feet run towards to the bathroom and I hoped it was only girls running but then again I had seen no girls in the kitchen when I walked by other then Emily and Leah.

The door flew open and the first person there was Embry, then Seth and Leah. Leah snorted and rolled her eyes.

"What? It's your period," she shrugged before really looking at the horror on my face. "Right?" She hesitated before her and the other two boys were pushed out the way. Emily came in and took one looked around before demanding everyone left and slamming the bathroom door in front of their faces. Leah and Seth both looked horrified but Embry looked worried and shocked when the door closed on their faces.

"We need to get you to a doctor," Emily whispered to me before flushing the toilet full of blood and pulling out the bleach under the sink. I pulled my blood soaked pants off and tossed them in the trash can and sat down on the bathtub ledge. I bit my lip knowing what this meant.

Miscarriage.

This amount of blood could only mean a miscarriage. My breathing was shaky as I watched Emily pour bleach everywhere and scrub. She pointed to the dryer across the room, I went over and dig through the clean clothes before grabbing underwear and sweatpants. I opened the linen closet and pulled out a pad to line the underwear with to hold the blood. I put everything on and sat back on the edge of the tub, not sure what to say or do. Once Emily was done cleaning everything up she pulled her keys out her back pocket.

"I was about to drop April off at preschool, I'll take you to the hospital on the way," she grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I was still in a state of shock so nothing came out in response. She pulled me up and continued to hold my hand as she called for April to meet us in the car. I heard her small voice give goodbyes as she followed behind. Embry was on the porch with Seth who both looked the same, sick. Both opened their mouths to talk but Sam called for them from somewhere in the house.

I climbed in the passenger seat and got buckled while Emily got April in her car seat. They both chatted as we drove by Emily continued to hold my hand. I said nothing. I couldn't say anything. I was miscarrying. I wanted to make the choice but instead my body did. It chose for me, it told me I wasn't ready yet.

Emily dropped off April at the preschool, little kids played outside while the rain was holding off and other kids were being dropped off. I saw Kim try to call for us but Emily just climbed back in the car and took off down the road.

La Push didn't have a hospital, local people who thought they were doctors and that honey or a little bit of whiskey could fix anything. She was headed towards the next town, Forks.

We drove in silence. Then as she checked me into the hospital I sat and looked out the window in the lobby. My palms were sweating but I felt cold. I could still feel the blood coming out and I tried not to think about it. I wish I had grabbed my phone so I could text Lucy, she didn't even know what was happening but this would be the time I needed her. Emily came and sat next to me but when she reached for my hand again I pulled it away. They were sweating so much I didn't want her to know I was scared.

"Miss Autumn, were ready to see you. Hey, Emily how are you?" A blonde doctor stood by the entry doors with a smile but when he saw the look on our faces his smile dropped.

About an hour went by with a few nurses coming in and out. I was taken for an ultrasound finally and that's when it was confirmed, the baby was gone. The doctor, Carlisle, came in and sat on the stool next to my bed. Emily was on the other side with her hands clasped together.

"Well, you were about two months in. After some tests and the ultrasound we discovered that you have what is called incompetent cervix."

After being discharged I sat in Emily's car thinking about how maybe this was karma. Karma for leaving. Maybe I deserved this empty feeling. Maybe this is what I left everybody else with when I left. I didn't even know I wanted to keep this baby but not getting the choice made everything worse.


	14. April

Once we got home I continued to sit in the car. Emily said I could take my time and she would get the guest room ready for me when I made it inside. The rain was coming in slowly but I would wait until it started heavier, that way my tears wouldn't look like tears anymore.

After about a half hour I saw people exist the house and start towards the wood line, I know there's trails in the woods a lot of them use to get to house to house. Seth and Leah came out side by side first, it looked like they were whispering to each other but neither looked over at the car. Embry and Sam then came out, Sam had Embry by the back of his shirt, like he was making him keep walking with him. Embry tried to turn his head towards where I was but Sam slapped the back fo his head before he could. I smiled a little appreciating the space they were giving me considering none of them knew.

Once I knew the house was only left with Emily inside of it I slowly got out. I could still feel blood gushing but I had a big enough pad on that I knew I wouldn't leak out. I walked slowly to the house with my head towards the sky, letting the rain wash away any tear streaks I had. I entered the house and went straight to the spare room.

Emily had put my bag in here on the bed along with a change of clothes. But all I did was throw them on the floor, pull back the covers and climb in still in my soaking clothes.

Was there any reason for me to even stay here now?

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew April was standing by the side of my bed. She had half a chocolate bar in her hand and was reaching it out to me. I closed my eyes for a second before reaching out and taking it. I moved over so she could climb up next to me. I spilt the bar in half and handed her a part.

"I couldn't eat it all last night but I tried," she sounded disappointed in herself with this fact. I nibbled on a corner instead of saying anything back. Did April know? Would they tell a child what happened? Or does she just think I'm sick?

"Mommy said you were sad so I thought chocolate could make you happy, chocolate makes me happy," she said before taking a big bite of her own bar.

"You know what used to make me happy as a kid?" I whispered before sitting up. "Sleep."

April laughed before asking why. I shrugged, "it was my escape. Have you met your grandparents? My parents? When I was child they were never around like your mom and dad. So I slept a lot, it made time go by quicker until I could see them again." I answered as honest as I could. I slept all the time when I was kid, I just wanted time to fly by until my mom would come home from the next business trip or the next meeting.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" The small child next to me whispered while licking her fingers clean. I snorted and rolled my eyes before shaking my head no.

"I never kept a boy," I answered before feeling cold and wet and bloody. I hope she wouldn't ask why to that question or even why there was blood on the fresh sheets on the bed.

"I want to keep a boy. His name is Louis," she whispered as she moved closer to me. I asked if he was a boy was in her preschool as I got off the bed to find the clothes I threw. I found them in the corner by the small study desk that use to be in my old room at moms.

"He's in my class and last Halloween he said I was the coolest fairy ever," she was talking excitedly like the boy had proposed. I laughed as I stripped out of the still wet clothes and put on the dry ones. Emily gave me a high school shirt she use to wear all the time, a new pair of underwear and another pair of sweatpants. I held up my finger to pause her as I went to the bathroom to put another pad on and slip on the new pants. April followed and sat on the edge of the tub like I had did this morning.

"No claire today?" I asked wondering why she was following me. I washed my hands and washed my face, making sure I had wash all the tears away. I started searching the medicine cabinet for a pain killer, I was getting cramps harder then I ever had before.

"Claire has to go shopping with her mom. Her birthday is coming up and she's getting a new dress," I could hear the rings of jealously that leaked through her small voice. I turned around in the middle of my search and saw the sad look on her face.

"Are you sad because she's not here or because she's getting a new dress for her birthday?" I asked before dry swollowing some old Percocet I found that I assume was given to Emily after she gave birth. Or maybe after she had got those scars, she swears up and down it was a bear but in all my life in this town I've never seen or heard of a bear in the woods. Maybe it was Sam as a werewolf. I chuckled at my inner thought before turning my attention back to April.

"My birthday is a week after hers and mom said money was tight so she was going to make my dress. But I wanted this pink sparkly dress I saw in a shop in Forks," April sure did love pink. Her birthday was coming up. I just found my reason to stay.


	15. Seattle

That day April and I sat at the kitchen table on my laptop looking for stores close by that had the dresses she wanted. We found a few in Forks but she said they weren't shiny enough. So then we looked for shops in Seattle and found the perfect store. It's called "Mama Girls" and all they had was sparkly and shiny things. April got so excited that it almost made me forget that pain I was in emotionally and psychically.

When dinnertime rolled around the house piled up with people again.

"I thought I told everyone not today!" Emily shouted over the noise that was being brought in. It made everyone stop in their tracks though. I looked up from my laptop finally to see them all looking at me. Leah looked guilty, like her jab the other night was coming back to bite her in the ass. Seth had those puppy dog eyes like he wanted a hug. Embry looked in pain, like his stomach was hurting or something was bothering him, anxious like. Jared and Kim held hands while averting there eyes from mine. Sam was in front of them with the most "oh I fucked up" face on.

"I forgot..." Sam whispered to Emily who was busy pulling out more food from the fridge. She had only made enough chili for us, not bear sized men. She pulled out frozen pizzas and other party foods that could get done quickly.

"Hey Autumn," Leah said quietly when she sat down next to me. I nodded at her but went back to my computer looking for the address for the store and the hours. I tried my best to ignore the others as they sat next to us but that was hard when April talked.

"Aunt Autumn is finding me a party dress for my birthday party," she proudly announced. I gave her a side eye before finding what I needed and writing it down in my notes on my phone.

"The festival is Sunday but we could go Saturday," I told her before getting up and getting more water from the sink. Emily gave me a nod as a yes before turning back to her duty of food.

"Where are you going?" Embry quietly asked, it was so quiet he had to repeat it twice for me to hear.

"Seattle," I answered before going to close my computer and put it away in my bag.

"You can't go there," Embry yelled standing up from his chair. I gave him "the who do you think you're talking to" look before he sat down and looked at his lap while biting his lip.

"And why not?" I asked not liking him telling me what to do. I've been free to do what I want for the last four years. That's not going to change now.

"A serial killer is on the loose in Seattle right now," Embry said as calmly as he could through gritted teeth.

"Well then you're just going to have to go with me," I shrugged. "Right, friend?" Daring him to say no, he signed up earlier on to be my friend and if he wants to try to tell me what to do then he's going to have to put up with pink dress shopping.

The room was silent for a moment, even Emily stopped moving. Luckily April was the one to break the tension.

"Uncle Embry you have to come! I don't want to die!" She shouted as she got up from her chair and ran to her room, slamming the door. Sam sighed before going down the hall to comfort his scared child.

"Yeah Uncle Embry, you have to come," I said with a smirk and wink before grabbing my bag and heading to the porch.

I sat on the swinging bench before pulling cigarettes, matches and my phone from the front pocket. I lit up the cigarette inhaling the match fumes and taking a big hit of it. The cigarette was steadying my nerves from what was happening inside of me. I listened to the light rain as I turned on my phone and saw Lucy had messaged me. Along with Charlie again and Eric.

Eric was the last guy I hooked up with before I left for home. He was a guy at the club I worked at, he sat in my section and when one of the girls turned him down he came onto me. I took him up on the offer because why not?

I checked Lucy's message first.

_Hey babydoll. Just checking in. It's lonely around the complex without you. I haven't even gone partying because it wouldn't be the same. Your plants are doing fine. Can't wait to see you Sunday! _

I missed Lucy more then ever now. I decided to text her back letting her know I was okay.

_Hey hotstuff. My problem has been taken care of. I miss you tons and can't wait for you to come Sunday. Fly in and we can drive home together after a few days. _

I wasn't sure if I was going to drive her home and came back or just drive her home and stay yet but I had time to decide whether or not I was going to live that life behind. I had April to focus on right now.

_Wyd? Hang out tonight?_

That's what I got from Eric. He probably got rejected again at the club and was trying for me considering the text was last night at 3am, the time the club closed. I deleted the text and his contact before seeing what Charlie needed.

_Hey, can I borrow your purple lipstick?_

I scoffed before exiting out out of my texts and pulling up Facebook.

Lucy had posted a few photos of herself around her apartment and a few of all the food she was ordering in. She even tagged me in the sushi photo saying she was use to order our large order so she had too many leftovers.

Sushi night was a must every Monday since we became friends and this was the first I missed out on. She even ordered my weird Philadelphia roll that I knew she just gave away or tossed.

I scrolled down more while still finishing my cigarette. I was in the middle of a funny cat video when my peace was interrupted.

"So Seattle huh?" Embry asked from the doorway.


	16. Rain

"Yes, Seattle, it has a store that April found her birthday dress at," I said nonchalantly before rubbing my cigarette out on the bottom of my slipper. I patted the sit next to me when I realized he wasn't moving.

He sat next to me but again in silence. I rolled my eyes and held my breath before talking.

"You're thinking about this morning huh?" I quietly asked him, listening to the rain get a little bit heavier as time went. When he did answer I looked over at him looking blank. Maybe he has had some tramatic experience with a miscarriage. Maybe a girlfriend?

"I had a miscarriage, not a heavy period. But a miscarriage. I have what you call an incompetent cervix. It means my cervix was too weak and the baby couldn't hold," I tried to dumb it down as simple as I could for him. Instead of saying "hey getting a baby to stay inside of me might be hard".

"Did you tell your boyfriend?" He asked even quieter. So quiet I almost didn't hear it over the rain.

"No boyfriend. Didn't even know who the dad was," I stood up quickly something to distract myself from the tears I felt coming back. I felt his eyes on my back as I leaned against the railing and held my hand out to catch rain.

"No boyfriend?" He stuttered our finally. I nodded before turning around and flinging the water I had collected at him. Seeing the shocked look at his face made me laugh for the first time today. Like a real genuine laugh. A kid laugh. Embry also laughed before he raced over to the railing and tried to start collecting water in his hand also.

Joke was on him though as I ran down the porch steps and grabbed the sand bucket that was left in the yard and flung it at him. I stood in the rain getting drench but smiling and laughing. Forgetting how much I was bleeding still. Forgetting I had just lost a baby I never even knew. Forgetting the pain I was in. Forgetting the breakdown that was inside of me boiling up.

We stayed out in the rain for who knows how long running around before Sam appeared on the porch and called for Embry. Embry sighed and looked at me as the rain beat on us.

"Boss is calling, time to go to work," he smiled at me and gave a wave before heading toward the trails in the woods. I waved back before wondering why the take the trails. And what were they doing work for this late at night? And what work were they doing? I'd have to remember to ask Embry next time I saw him.

I headed back inside the house to find all lights off and silence. Everyone else must have already left and I was too busy with Embry to notice. I stripped out of my clothes except underwear and a pad and crawled into bed. I laid my phone next to me hoping Lucy would text me when she got off work.

**Sorry for a short chapter, it's late here and I'm tired. **


	17. Bathroom

The next day I woke up the rare sun shining in my eyes. For a second I forgot where I was and let my face bask in it glory. Then I heard two pairs of tiny footsteps by the end of the bed. I pulled my head up a bit and saw April and Claire taking funny selfies with my phone. I laughed before throwing a pillow at them chasing them out. I knew they still had my phone but it didn't bother me. I made my way out of the bed and grabbed some clothes that had been put on the desk for me and took them with me to the bathroom.

Only thing is for a moment I forgot how packed Emily's house is all the time so when I was just about to open the door for the bathroom, using my clothes as shield for my boobs, it opens from the inside first. I look up to see Embry staring at my pretty much naked body with shock. I scream and grip my clothes tighter to cover up my chest more.

"What is going on?" Sam yelled as he came around the living room corner and came to a stop when he saw what happening.

"Embry what the hell?" His voice boomed down the hallway. I stood still as I could trying not to move so my parts wouldn't be exposed. What seemed like forever Embry stopped staring at me and covered his eyes with his hands and worked his way scooting out the bathroom, I moved enough for him to get by and darted in the bathroom. I slammed the door and locked it so that wouldn't happen again by accident.

I dropped the clothes I had on the sink and stripped out of my underwear before grabbing a new pad that was in a box under the sink. I sat everything up before turning the shower on hot waiting for it to warm up. Before stepping in the hot water I started coughing, like a cough you'd get after playing in rain. I groaned when my throat hurt afterwards.

I got in the shower and washed my body. Getting whatever trace of blood could be left. I washed my hair and let the scent of all the fragrances mingle in the air. I wasn't sure how long I was in there for but I eventually shut the shower off in hopes of forgetting the awkwardness of this morning. Although that wasn't what was gonna happen. My phone had been slid under the door and when I opened it I saw a picture that one of the girls must have took of a Embry and I in the hall this morning not sure what to do. I then scrolled through all the other photos to see pictures of the usual people in the kitchen, a bunch of selfies and some photos when I was asleep.

I sat my phone down and got dressed before leaving the bathroom. I coughed again in the hallway and sighed after before grabbing my bag and heading to the porch. I was digging in my bag as I opened the front door when I finally looked up and saw I wasn't alone.

Embry.

I closed my eyes for a second before I went and sat next to him on the swing bench. The sun was coming into the porch and I was happy to feel it on my feet. I pulled out my cigarettes and grab my phone out my pocket. I wasn't sure what to say so I lit my cigarette up and checked my phone for missed messages.

_I want to hear all about this elusive problem when I get there. Don't worry about driving me home, I got a round trip ticket just in case you decide to stay. Love you xoxo_

I smiled at the text Lucy sent late last night. She knew I wasn't hundred percent about coming back and I didn't even have to say it.

"So...this morning?" Embry finally said while looking the other way.

"It's not like you saw anything super important Em, it's fine," I shrugged before coughing again. He turned towards me with concern.

"It's from the rain last night, again, it's fine," I placed my hand on his shoulder for a moment before I saw him watching my hand. I took it off and apologized before going back to my phone.

He was quiet for a long time again and when I looked over out of the sides of my eyes he was staring at the spot I touched.


	18. Breakfast

"What are your plans for the day?" I asked while getting up to go back inside and find food. I heard him get up and follow, like a giant puppy. I started rummaging through the fridge from whatever looked good. I grabbed eggs and some leftover bacon to cook with. I held them up as a sign if he wanted any and of course he nodded his head.

"I have to go to work at noon. Sam gave me the morning though so I could apologize to you," he answered as he sat at the kitchen table. I pulled my phone out and put on my playlist, "Nice to Meet Ya" by Niall Horgan started playing.

"It took all of five minutes, so now you get to eat breakfast with me," I flashed him the smile I use to give men at clubs when I wanted them to know I was a safe person. The innocent person. Draw them in. Except Embry was a bit different. I knew him in high school. I knew him as the lanky boy, not this giant man. But his heart was the same it seemed. And damn did he get better looking.

I snapped out of it to start mixing the eggs and reheating the bacon.

"Omelette or just eggs?" I kind of shouted over all the noise before I realized he was next to me.

"Omelette would be great," he quietly said as he flipped the bacon over to test to see if it was heated up again. I looked over at him, the peace he gave me was not normal. Sure, I felt calm with Emily or Lucy or even April but not with many men. Probably only Sam and Seth made me feel relaxed.

"Em," I whispered while I reached out to touch his shoulder. He turned towards my hand again, like maybe he didn't like my hand there. But I took the risk and reached up on my toes and kissed his soft looking mouth before he had a chance to say anything.

We stood there for a moment before he kissed back. He placed his hands on my lower back to pull me closer as we continued to kiss. We stayed like that in that embrace in for awhile before we smelt the burning. The omelette I was working on the bacon were both burning up, Embry took the pans off the stove quickly and ran to take them out the front door. I turned the burners off and turned the kitchen fan on to get the smoke fading out. I started opening windows to help ventilate some before he came in with empty cooled down pans.

We locked eyes and what I thought could be weird wasn't. He dropped the pans and I let go of the window I was holding so he could run and grab me to continue our kiss. He lifted me on the counter and held me close. I felt his fingers in my hair, the small of my back and even caress my jawline at one point. His touch lit me on fire inside.

But before anything else could happen the front door opened and we heard Emily take off her shoes. I jumped down and tried to look as normal as possible before she came around the corner.


	19. Fire

"Why the pans on the floor?" She asked bending down to grab them but Embry swooped in to get them before her.

"We we're making breakfast but got distracted talking and it burned," he chuckled nervously before placing the pans in the sink.

"Mhm, mhm, then why over near the hallway?" Emily had a smirk on her face, she knew what was up but fuck that. We're gonna drag out this lie right now.

"He dropped them when I needed help opening one of the windows. It was stuck and I was struggling," I rubbed my hands together before grabbing my phone and stuffing it in my pocket.

"But we're gonna go over to the diner in Forks and grab breakfast before Embry has to go to work. He's still apologizing to me for this morning," I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the front door. I grabbed my boots and shut the door. I grabbed my bag from the swing and headed towards my car. Then I realized he wasn't following.

"Come on, to Forks we go!" I pointed towards my car with a smile on my face. I opened my door and pulled my boots on while waiting for him. He slowly made his way over and got inside. He was quiet. Maybe he regretted the kiss. Maybe he didn't want to go get food with me.

"You kissed me," he turned to look at me. I nodded my head, wondering why it was such a big deal, I've kissed tons of people. Guys, girls, gays, trans, Ive kiss people all he time. But if I have to admit it to myself then Embry was different. His kiss was different. He had a need behind it. Like if he stopped he was scared I was gonna disappear. I felt different kissing him, a fire lit inside of me.

I turned my key to start my car and put it in reverse to leave Emily's driveway. But we got halfway down the driveway when I looked over and saw him still looking at me. I raised my eyebrows and he just shook his head. I stopped the car and reached over to hold his face.

"Get it together Mr. Call," I said jokingly. If he kept looking at me like he was it was going to make it hard to go home. Maybe deep down I didn't want to though and he was another reason to stay. To find out how he makes me feel on fire but at peace at the same time. He kissed me again and I immediately did it back. I grabbed his shirt to pull him closer as he tangled his fingers in my hair. I accidentally made a small moan in his mouth which fueled his kiss more. I eventually had to breath so I pulled away and looked at the clock, 10:30am

"We need to go so you can make it to work on time," I whispered while licking my still burning lips. He nodded as I put the car in drive and started towards Forks.

**Short chapter but I need to get to work myself **


	20. Diner

We made it to the forks diner in no time. I parked the car and grabbed my bag before getting out. Embry also got out and looked around the lot, we both saw almost no cars here being as most of the teens that hang here were already in school. I walked up and grabbed his hand because o cut his boy gets distracted by everything.

"I'm sorry, Forks just makes me uneasy I guess," he said quietly. Low enough to where the older couple passing us couldn't hear. I nodded my head in acknowledgment to what he said. I opened up the doors and read the sign saying "please sit yourselves". I found a booth over in the corner where it was the most away from everyone else.

We started looking at the menus when the waitress finally came over.

"What can I get you two to drink?" The waitress was short, thick and looked like has been doing this her whole life. She had thick red glasses and dyed black hair, with heavy makeup on her face to try and hide the wrinkles. We both ordered coffee and water before going back to the menus.

"What are you getting?" He eventually asked when I folded my menu.

"Chocolate chip pancakes," I beamed a big smile at him. He raised in eyebrows in question.

"The chocolate chip pancakes here are the best. In high achool I would come here during exam time and eat them while I studied. It always was a comfort food when I needed it," I shrugged thinking to the many lonely nights I spent here eating pancakes in the corner booths or bar while other teenagers mingled and laughed. By the time I had got into high school Emily had graduated and was busy with Sam. Too busy for me it seemed at the time.

"So what are you guys ordering?" The waitress came back to deliver our drinks and take the order. I ordered my pancakes while Embry ordered enough to feed the gang that come to the house. Eggs, hash browns, bacon, toast, pancakes, sausage and oatmeal. I raised my eyebrows at him this time.

"I had work last night and didn't get to eat this morning. Sam chewed me out a bit," he awkwardly looked out the window while holding his breath on the last part. I laughed, thinking about Sam yelling at him because of the mistake I made.

"So how does it feel to go out on a date with me?" I asked while adding sugar to my coffee. But my question made him spit out his own coffee onto the table. I laughed again. I grabbed my napkin and wiped it all up before he even spoke. I tapped my fingers on the plastic coffee cup and waited.

"You know I had a crush on you in high school right?" I asked another question. This one made him avoid eyes with me. I waited a second before I talked again. "You did?" I knitted my eyebrows together and looked down at my cup.

"I knew but at the time I was nothing but a teenage idiot. I was also going through a lot too the end of senior year," he trailed off when the food was delivered. I nodded my head as I stole a piece of bacon off his plate before digging into my own.

"What kind of stuff? It was senior year, we were all going through shit. Hell do you remember my senior year? Leah got everyone to call me crazy until I couldn't take it and left," I rolled my eyes and drank some water. I leaned in my booth for a minute letting the food sink to my stomach.

"I lost my friends for awhile during that year. Then I started working for Sam around graduation time so I even missed that. I didn't hear about the Leah thing though," he sounded confused at the end. How could he not? She got the whole school behind it? The whole tribe basically! I looked different enough now that people must not recognize me or just don't care.

"I'm going to tell you this in confidence," I took one last bite of my food before going into this story that has haunted me for years.


	21. Crazy

_It was two months before graduation and I was stressing about exams. I had been studying day and night for my calculus exam that I know was going to kick my ass. I looked up from my math book to find the clock with glowing red numbers that read 2:30am. I sighed knowing I stayed up way too late because I had to be up for school at 6am. I closed my book for the night and threw it on the floor. I snuggled under my covers but after laying here for a half hour I still couldn't sleep. All I could see was numbers and letters and equations floating in my head. I groaned loudly, tossing my covers off and finding my slippers on the floor. I grabbed my hoodie off my desk chair and threw it on. I crept down the steps not trying to wake up mom or dad. Dad was a heavy sleeper but mom never was. I grabbed my knitted hat at the door and put it on. Ever since I chopped my hair off my ears are always exposed and cold. Stupid choice on my part but I won't let anyone know that. Once I was outside I was safe, I pulled my flashlight out of my hoodie pocket and started towards the woods. I would take the trail to the beach and then back home. Some fresh salt air would do me good and make me want to sleep. I got halfway there when I started hearing noises. Some shouting. Some screaming. Some cracking. My horror movie logic told me to turn back quietly and go home. Not to keep going. Go home and stay safe and whatever was happening was not my business. Well, of course I didn't listen to that logic. I followed the noises and soon turned off my flashlight when I realized I was closer. But that's when I saw it. I knew what I saw immediately. Sam arguing with a very pale, deathly pale man. I couldn't quite make out what they were saying, I tried to keep a distance and they were talking low. Maybe Sam was a drug dealer. Maybe Sam was a drug user. I soon went to leave after I realized they were going to do anything or talk louder. But that's when it happened. Sam started to shake, violently shake, I shouted his name and he looked over at me concerned but it was too late. Sam bursted into a giant wolf. Just like the stories. _

"And then I ran to tell Emily which she then told Leah and then I got called crazy for the next two months by everyone. So much so that it made me leave this town," I finished my story as I crunches on some ice. Embry was finishing up his food finally when the waitress dropped the check off. Before Embry could grab it I yanked it away from his side of the table and went up to pay it. I could feel his eyes on me again.

"No change, it's all for you. Are you guys hiring?" I asked her as I handed her 50 while the bill was only 32. The cashier nodded and handed me an application. I grabbed a pen and took it back to the booth. Our waitress was clearing off our table as I sat back down and grabbed my bag.

"Ready to go?" I asked while Embry was still being quiet. He hadn't said a whole word since I explained the crazy story. Maybe he also thought I was crazy now. He nodded and that's when I got up and saw them. A pale man and woman approaching us. The same sort of pale I saw before. Deathly pale. I stopped in my tracks which made Embry run into me which made the couple turn their heads. They smiled but not in a "I'm gonna way you" smile like the legends held but a "I know them".

"Embry!" The woman yelled in excitement. I watched her prance over here with her spiky hair and golden eyes. The boy came over slowly, eyeing me and then Embry quietly.

"Hey Alice, long time no see. What are you doing here?" He asked stepping in front of me a bit. Like sheilding me.

"Grabbing food, Jacob and Ness are coming into town for a visit and of course I said I'd cook," she winked at that last bit. "I'm sure he'll be over to see you all." Before anyone could exchange any more words her name was called and they waved goodbye with their to go bags and left. Embry then grabbed my hand tightly and led me outside to the car. He opened the passenger door and left it open for me while he went around to the driver side. I got in with confusion on my face.

"I think there's something you need to see," he had his teeth clenched. We started on our way back to La Push when I looked at the time.

"It's almost noon. Whatever you have to show me can wait until you get off tonight. I don't want you to get in trouble with Sam," I was genuinely concerned that if Embry was late when he already had the morning off to be with me that Sam would kill him. Whether what I saw was right or not I'm pretty sure Sam could do it.

"I'll text him when we get there and he'll understand. Trust me," Embry looked nervous and kept shifting his eyes to look at me.

"You're going to leave me. I mean, us. All of us, you're going to leave," he sounded sure when he said this.

"I have an application for the diner. I was thinking about staying for awhile. Maybe finding a small studio somewhere to rent," I hadn't thought about my plans all too well but I knew I couldn't stay at Emily's too long. "Anyways, I still need to tell my mom I'm in town. Minus what happened," I said the last part when I cramp kicked in. I forgot to take any medicine this morning to help. I rolled the window down some and pulled my cigarettes out and lit one up. I enjoyed the sun beating on my face while Embry looked worried.

"Don't start now" by Dua Lipa started on the radio and I turned it up as much as I could. I then proceeded to my best dances in the car which made Embry laugh. His nerves looked like they melted away. When the song was over I turned it down and looked at him with a small smile.

"Go to work. Whatever you have to tell me you can do at the beach tonight," I placed my hand on his lap.

"But what if it's raining?" He asked knowing our weather was ever changing.

"Rain or not, beach tonight Mr. Call. It's a date," I flashed my winning smile at him and winked.


	22. Truth

Night finally came and Embry still hadn't came back from work yet. None of the boys had. I sat at the kitchen table searching for jobs around but all were listed in Port Angeles. I found a strip club and applied for a cocktail waitress. I found a few diners listed and out in applications there as well. Maybe I should have gone to school after all. Then I'd have more skills then showing boobs and giving food and drinks. Emily was busy cooking as usual, tonight's menu was a fried rice dish that smelled amazing. April was sitting next to me like usual passing me a slice of apple here and there. She was a cute kid.

"We're home," Seth's booming voice shouted through the house. April jumped up and clapped her hands before I pulled her back in her seat, scared she was going to fall. The boys piled in but Sam and Embry were the last. Sam went and kissed Emily where Embry saw me and gave me a small nod of acknowledgement. I nodded back and continued back on my computer closing out all my tabs I had pulled back before I finally shut it and excused myself. I heard Embry scrap his chair back and follow, some excuse about the bathroom but everyone knew he was following me. I opened the door to the spare room and left it open for when he came in, which of course he did.

"Well if it isn't Mr. Call," I clicked my tongue and turned around to give a smile. But his face read anxious though.

"I'm nervous about tonight," he whispered while quietly shutting the door and pulling the chair out from the desk. I sat on the edge of the bed and took a deep breath before exhaling.

"It's just me. There's no need to be nervous. We don't even have to call it a date," I threw my hands in the air like it wasn't a big deal. Even though something inside of me pulled, like a tinge I'd hurt. I haven't felt that in years though, I made sure no boy made me feel any hurt.

"It's not that Autumn. We need to have a serious talk tonight," he was about to keep talking before his name got called. Sam was still keeping a close watch on him it seems. I nodded towards the door as the universal sign to go before you get in more trouble. He stood up and kissed my forehead quickly before leaving.

What could be so serious that has him acting so nervous? He looked just as nervous when he saw the couple at the diner earlier.

_Pale skin, deathly pale skin. _

_Boy looked weary of us, especially me. _

_Embry tried to block me, shield me._

_Sam bursting into a wolf. _

_The pale man in the woods. _

It all meant something. It was all connected. I gasped before grabbing my computer and searching "vampire". A bunch of books about vampires popped up, all love stories of course, but then I found a link that looked right. I pulled it up and read what was listed as "the cold ones" and then I dove into the rest. The werewolves, the cold ones, the on going battle, the stories that other tribes told all over the nation, the stories dating back centuries. Before I knew it I had missed dinner and Seth was bringing me a plate. He opened the door with a smile and spoke with a French accent but I ignored him.

"What are you looking at?" He sat down beside me trying to pry but I slammed my laptop shut.

"I need to talk to Embry. Now," I stood up grabbed my bag and stormed out the room. I heard Seth call after me but I was already in the living room.

"Embry, now," I was seething with anger. I had been told I was crazy. That I hadn't seen what I saw. That there was no such thing as vampires and werewolves. It's why I moved thousands of miles away to start over.

I marched out the house and swung my back pack on, but not before I pulled my cigarettes out and lit one up. I shoved the pack in my back pocket as we headed towards the woods. Embry was silent behind me but I knew he was there. If he really wanted to be my friend or maybe even more then he was going to have to fess up.

I'm not crazy.


	23. Truth (11-20 08:16:07)

I halted when we reached deep enough in the trail that I knew no one this late would come this way. I turned to look at him, still fuming, but when I saw his face I felt mine soften. He looked pitiful. Like he knew what was happening.

"You knew. I told you what happened to me and that's why you had nothing to say back. Because you knew!" I screamed at him while the thunder cracked ahead of us. The rain was coming. He still stood quiet, didn't even open his mouth to try.

"You knew Embry. I knew I wasn't crazy. I knew what I saw. Sam is a werewolf, the protector. Those people at the diner, they were vampires. I knew so many years ago and I was told I was wrong," he looked like he could die at his point. I took a step towards him before I realized what I was doing. I held my hand out to him which he slowly lifted his up to mine. We stood in silence for a moment before he spoke.

"All the boys and I are also protectors. Yes the couple in the diner are vampires but good ones. At least we have to trust that they are good, we have a knew treaty with them now. Different from the old one. What you saw years ago was right, Sam is the alpha of us. The man was a vampire and it was our job to stop them. Stop them as kill them..." he trailed off for a moment while checking my face. I tried my best to look neutral. Not scared or mad or hurt. Just blank. I tried my best not to let him know what I was feeling inside.

"I am one of them. I have been for the past four years and I will continue to be one until I choose to stop. The vampires aren't common anymore, not ever since the new treaty but we still run patrols every night and the town council pays us for protecting them," he looks like a weight has been lifted off his chest.

"What about the girls? Kim, Emily, Leah? Do they know what you boys do? Does anyone else in the town know?"

"The girls know. Leah is actually apart of us. Kim and Emily know and have known for a long time now and no, no one else in town knows," Embry wouldn't meet my eyes. He instead looked at my mouth to make it seem like he was looking at me. I sighed and pointed my head towards the beach, it was raining now but I did tell him. Rain or not, we'd go to the beach.

I knew it wasn't crazy, they just made me think it. So much so that I moved! I was more mad at Emily and Leah but maybe they were trying to protect a secret that was meant to be kept. Maybe they were right to call me crazy and chase me away because they were protecting the pack, their partners, their brothers.

I heard the sound of the waves and made my way over to the cover picnic tables by the woods. These were new but I saw them the other day when I was in my car.

"Why do the girls know?" If it was suppose to be a secret then weren't they not suppose to know?

"Well that is another part of this whole shebang," he was holding his breath on this part. I raised my eyebrows, hoping he could see them in this darkness.

"Go on," I insisted before grabbing his hand. Even though mine was cold I knew his would keep me warm. He let out a big sigh before saying fine.


	24. Imprint

"We have what's called imprinting, it's when our soul meets its match, like a soulmate thing you could say. It's also the people we protect most in our lives. Sam has Emily and Jared has Kim. Jacob has Ness but he left to travel with her about a year or so ago. Most of us wait to date until we find our imprints, some don't. Leah is dating a guy over in Forks and it's not her soulmate but rather then someone to pass the time," he trailed off. Maybe because I had pulled my hand away from him. Was I just to pass the time? Because I've had enough of my fair share of those men. It's why I never dated seriously, just fooled around.

"But that's not what you are! You're not to pass the time, you're an imprint!" He quickly shouted, like he was scared I would walk away from all of this. Considering I was handling everything else well. Probably because it confirmed I wasn't crazy and that in the long run, Emily and Leah couldn't let the secret be exposed.

"Who imprinted on me then?" I asked trying to think but the only person who gave me any attention other then Emily was Embry. I held my breath waiting for him to talk although I just figured out the answer.

"I did...but we don't have to date if you don't want. We can be friends or whatever you need. That's how this works," he talked softly, letting the raining drown our voices out.

"Soulmates? That's not just fairy tale bullshit?"

_Emily and I sat on our living room floor staring at our tiny tv. The Little Mermaid was playing for the third time today. Ariel was confessing her love for Eric to the sea witch. She needed true loves kiss within three days to stay human. _

_"I wish soulmates were real like Ariel and Eric," Emily sighed as she laid down on the floor cuddling with the sofa pillow next to her. _

_"Aren't soulmates just fake?" I asked still not understanding any concept of love other then movies. _

_"No! They're real and I'm going to find mine one day," Emily exclaimed and jumped up to go get more junk food. I continued to watch the movie and think about soulmates. Mom and dad were definitely not soulmates. Did everyone have a soulmate? Did I have a soulmate? _

The answer was yes. I did have a soulmate and he was in front of me now. Is that what I needed though?

"Let's just try friends for now Embry," I got up and started back towards Emily. I knew he was behind me, he was always behind me.

We walked in silence all the way back and when I was about to go inside he asked me something I wasn't expecting.

"How are you taking this so well?" He was confused. He was nervous for my answer.

"You were honest when no one else was. You confirmed what I saw so many years ago and for that I thank you," I waved goodbye as I headed inside and down to the spare room.


	25. Burgers

The next day I locked myself in the spare room. Emily knocked on my door in the morning to tell me breakfast was done. April wiggled her fingers under the door to tell me goodbye as she left for preschool. Tomorrow was the day I was suppose to go to Seattle with Embry and her to shop for that dress. I know I told Embry we could be friends, try to be friends, but was I going to be able to do that? When I know the truth of it all now? How was I going to look Sam in the eye now? Seth? Leah? How was I going to act normal around them when I know what they are and that I wasn't crazy?

"Hey Autumn, I know you're in there," Embry knocked on the door around 2. I had the house to myself all day, I didn't even have to leave the room considering Seth places a basket of goodies outside my window, maybe as a peace offering.

"No ones home," I shouted from underneath my covers and I was watching Netflix on my computer.

"Okay then I guess I'll go cry," he started sniffling and fake crying. Like how Autumn will do when one of the boys say no to her. I rolled my eyes knowing he wouldn't leave because all he was doing was getting louder.

"What? What do you want?" I yelled at him as I opened the door finally. In his hands was a bag of greasy food and a smile that lit up his face.

"Lunch date, as friends" he winked as he added the last part and sat down at the desk chair. I sat back on the bed and grabbed the burger he passed to me.

"Emily said you don't like anythingon yours so I got it plain," he said before taking a big bite out of his. I checked mine and my god was it plain. I smiled and nodded my head in thanks. We continued to eat in silence until he had finished and pulled out fries from the bag as well.

"Oh I almost forgot!" He got up from the chair and ran to the kitchen. He came back with two milkshakes, one pink and one chocolate.

"I couldn't carry these and break down the door if needed," he shrugged and winked. He had more confidence as the days grew. I thought last night would have maybe shocked him like it did me but I guess not. Maybe because he was around all of this for years so he was just use to everything. Wolves. Vampires. Imprints.

"So...do you have any plans for tonight?" The nerves were coming back to his voice. I took my chocolate milkshake and took a long sip. Chocolate was the best.

"More Netflix probably," I said with a smile. Hoping. He would get the hint of wanting to be left alone for the day. But of course he didn't.

"Change of plans then. I was going to meet up with Jacob and Ness. I wanted you to come too," he reached out his hand but then took it back. I guess he remembered we're just friends for now. But I saw the hurt in his eyes he tried to hide with a smile. I sighed and grabbed his hand and squeezed it. He squeezed it back three times.

"Why would I want to hang out with them?" I asked before letting go and going back to my food. I grabbed some fries from his pile.

"Because you could hang out with your new best friend," he flashed a winning smile at me.

Shit. He knew he won.

"I'll pick you up at 8," he said as he grabbed his trash, kissed my forehead and left.

I finished my food and locked my door again. I went back under the covers to watch more Netflix but I must have fallen asleep because the next minute I knew April was calling for me again outside the door. I clicked on my phone to check the time, 7:17. Shit. Embry would be here soon.

I jumped up and flung the door open. I rustled April's hair Before running in the bathroom. I flew open the door and saw Seth was flexing his muscles in the mirror. I kicked him out after he screamed like a girl and took a quick shower. I got out and dried off, stealing some jeans and a shirt that Emily had in the dryer. I wrapped my hair up in the towel and went to Emily's room.

"Hey, could you do my makeup?" I asked quietly, not trying to alert April what was happening because she would of course want to help. Emily smiled and nodded before pointing to her vanity.

Hopefully her skills have gotten better in the last four years.


	26. Ready

Emily had gotten a bit better at makeup. I only let her do my eyes and I didn't look the worst. My eyeshadow was the same and the eyeliner looked almost right so I just went with it. Embry was at the door right at 8 like he said. He even knocked on the door, for someone who was just gonna try to be my friend he sure as hell was making it hard. I pulled on the shirt I had borrowed from Emily to make sure it looked right and I guess it did. It was a bit big considering our slight size difference but it will do. I regret not bringing many clothes. I'll have to grab new ones tomorrow in Seattle. If we're gonna be shopping anyways might as well. Plus Embry will be there and he can carry it all. Win win.

"Ready to go?" I called to Embry as I grabbed my bag and headed down the hallway. He smiled when he saw me which made me almost smile back. I was still trying to pretend that the kiss never happened.

"Don't you two stay out late! Dress shopping is tomorrow," April yelled from the couch where her, Sam, Quil and Claire all watched a movie. I think I faintly heard Cinderella sing as I was shutting the door.

_My mom and dad were in the kitchen fighting after they had just gotten home from work. Emily and I were hiding in our bedroom listening to them. Dad was at the table drinking and mom was screaming. _

_"I'm not Cinderella. Why do I have to work all day and then clean? Why don't you help?" We heard glass break meaning mom threw something. Emily gave me a smile, she'd clean it up later and we both knew it. _

_"I spent all day at work just like you yet I have to do everything!" Another piece of glass. She was in a real mood tonight. _

_"Who are you kidding? The girls do everything! You're just mad because I left them money for pizza this morning and one of them left a glass out," Dad finally said something back. It was me, I left the glass out. I'm the reason they were fighting tonight. _

_"Hey...they were gonna fight anyways," Emily whispered as she wiped my tear that fell. It went quiet in the kitchen after that but we could hear mom say once more as she went down the hall. _

_"I'm not Cinderella."_

"Everything okay?" Embry asked which snapped me out of my memory. I nodded and threw on a smile. He grabbed my hand and led me to his truck that was parked next to mine. I never see him in a car, only on foot so seeing a truck was weird.

"You know it's okay to not be okay," he told me as he helped me in the truck. I paused not knowing what to say but he didn't give me a chance to talk before he closed the door. Once he got in he started the truck up and he drove in silence for a bit before I finally spoke.

"What did you mean by that?" I asked, kind of getting mad that he assumed I wasn't okay. I mean, I wasn't but it wasn't his job to know. Or I guess it kind of was...

"I mean, you always have this sad look in your eye. It's okay to not be okay. You don't always have to look or act tough," he answered simply.

"You don't know what you're talking about," I snorted and rolled my eyes. I didn't act tough. I just was.

"Autumn I know we never talked in high school but I do remember you. You were sensitive, it's why all those girls loved to pick on you, because your heart was kind. You were gentle and caring," I cut him off by holding my hand as a sign to stop.

"I was. I was gentle. I was caring. Then I got tired of it and it led the whole town to call me crazy until I just left," I almost yelled the last bit but then I took a breath.

"Look, I know we have some connection inside. I know you want to know more and to learn more but I just don't think you're ready for it all yet," I looked out my window wondering why we were going into Forks.

"Seriously? I'm a wolf, you're my soulmate. That wasn't a sign? Were you ready for that?" He had a bit of edge to his voice but quickly calmed.

"Look, lets get through whatever is we're about to do and then tomorrow in Seattle we can talk. I'll tell you about my second life away from here, in detail and if you still want a more then friends thing one day then we'll talk," I sighed and turned up the radio. I didn't recognize the song but it didn't stop me from trying to drown myself in it.


	27. Ready (11-21 17:29:44)

Emily had gotten a bit better at makeup. I only let her do my eyes and I didn't look the worst. My eyeshadow was the same and the eyeliner looked almost right so I just went with it. Embry was at the door right at 8 like he said. He even knocked on the door, for someone who was just gonna try to be my friend he sure as hell was making it hard. I pulled on the shirt I had borrowed from Emily to make sure it looked right and I guess it did. It was a bit big considering our slight size difference but it will do. I regret not bringing many clothes. I'll have to grab new ones tomorrow in Seattle. If we're gonna be shopping anyways might as well. Plus Embry will be there and he can carry it all. Win win.

"Ready to go?" I called to Embry as I grabbed my bag and headed down the hallway. He smiled when he saw me which made me almost smile back. I was still trying to pretend that the kiss never happened.

"Don't you two stay out late! Dress shopping is tomorrow," April yelled from the couch where her, Sam, Quil and Claire all watched a movie. I think I faintly heard Cinderella sing as I was shutting the door.

_My mom and dad were in the kitchen fighting after they had just gotten home from work. Emily and I were hiding in our bedroom listening to them. Dad was at the table drinking and mom was screaming. _

_"I'm not Cinderella. Why do I have to work all day and then clean? Why don't you help?" We heard glass break meaning mom threw something. Emily gave me a smile, she'd clean it up later and we both knew it. _

_"I spent all day at work just like you yet I have to do everything!" Another piece of glass. She was in a real mood tonight. _

_"Who are you kidding? The girls do everything! You're just mad because I left them money for pizza this morning and one of them left a glass out," Dad finally said something back. It was me, I left the glass out. I'm the reason they were fighting tonight. _

_"Hey...they were gonna fight anyways," Emily whispered as she wiped my tear that fell. It went quiet in the kitchen after that but we could hear mom say once more as she went down the hall. _

_"I'm not Cinderella."_

"Everything okay?" Embry asked which snapped me out of my memory. I nodded and threw on a smile. He grabbed my hand and led me to his truck that was parked next to mine. I never see him in a car, only on foot so seeing a truck was weird.

"You know it's okay to not be okay," he told me as he helped me in the truck. I paused not knowing what to say but he didn't give me a chance to talk before he closed the door. Once he got in he started the truck up and he drove in silence for a bit before I finally spoke.

"What did you mean by that?" I asked, kind of getting mad that he assumed I wasn't okay. I mean, I wasn't but it wasn't his job to know. Or I guess it kind of was...

"I mean, you always have this sad look in your eye. It's okay to not be okay. You don't always have to look or act tough," he answered simply.

"You don't know what you're talking about," I snorted and rolled my eyes. I didn't act tough. I just was.

"Autumn I know we never talked in high school but I do remember you. You were sensitive, it's why all those girls loved to pick on you, because your heart was kind. You were gentle and caring," I cut him off by holding my hand as a sign to stop.

"I was. I was gentle. I was caring. Then I got tired of it and it led the whole town to call me crazy until I just left," I almost yelled the last bit but then I took a breath.

"Look, I know we have some connection inside. I know you want to know more and to learn more but I just don't think you're ready for it all yet," I looked out my window wondering why we were going into Forks.

"Seriously? I'm a wolf, you're my soulmate. That wasn't a sign? Were you ready for that?" He had a bit of edge to his voice but quickly calmed.

"Look, lets get through whatever is we're about to do and then tomorrow in Seattle we can talk. I'll tell you about my second life away from here, in detail and if you still want a more then friends thing one day then we'll talk," I sighed and turned up the radio. I didn't recognize the song but it didn't stop me from trying to drown myself in it.


	28. Lasgana

**For some reason some of my chapters are being posted twice in this series so just bare with while I try to figure out how to fix it. **

We arrived at a house that looked like it was made of glass. At first I thought of the stereotypical vampire where sunlight will burn them but then I remember actual vampires can be in the sun but just choose not to for reasons. It's why they still prefer dark and rainy places like here. Embry came around the truck to help me out but I got out myself. I was still a bit mad that he was trying to pry but I also understood. He told me the biggest secret in his life and I was still hiding mine. I owed it to him to tell him and let him choose if he still wanted friends or what not.

I followed him up the steps and before he reached a hand to know the door came flying open and I was embraced in a tight hug. My face was covered in brown spikes so I couldn't make out much pass it. I could hear Embry laugh though and then hear a few other manly laughs coming near.

"Alright dear, that's enough," a southern voice filled my eyes. Oh god that voice was gorgeous.

"We are going to be great friends," the girl said as she pulled away from me. The girl from the diner. I raised my eyebrows thinking how she knows that and a voice from in the house answered.

"Alice has visions. You have been popping up in her visions for quite a while, except when you're with that big moron right there," the voice answered. Did he just read my mind? Where is he? Where am I? I thought I was meeting Jacob and Ness?

"Jacob and Ness are coming back from a hunt now," the voice answered again. God?

"Not even close, I'm Edward," the voice finally came outside. It was a man with amber like hair and golden eyes. His eyes had me curious. I looked at the couple next to me, the girl still holding my hand. All golden eyes.

"I'm guessing Embry did not explain everything," Edward sighed.

"I'm Jasper," the southern man spoke. He was the one eyeing me up in the diner, maybe he was also a mind reader. I waved at him trying to think of why he would be staring.

"Jasper can read emotions. You might have been feeling something and he picked up on it," Edward was next to me with his hands behind his back.

"Embry!" We heard someone shout from the woods and before anyone knew it Embry was being tackled by a very large tan man. They wrestled for a bit before a big pale man came from the house and joined in. Getting the two in headlocks to which I laughed about. I never saw Embry or any of the boys get overpowered.

"Anyways, they are nothing but children. I don't know how you do it," Alice said as she tugged me by my hand and pulled me into the glass castle. Jasper followed like a loyal puppy and soon another girl came inside. I would assume Ness by how human she looked yet her eyes said otherwise.

"We made food for you guys. Well, rather Jacob and Ness did. But it should be ready to take out of the oven now," Alice had a vibe I liked. She acted how Lucy acted which made me like her and kiss Lucy at the same time. Sunday can't come fast enough.

"Ness say hello," Jasper was all about manners I could tell by how he held himself. Like a gentleman. Not like the boy who jumped in the wrestling match and won. The human like girl walked up to me and smiled brightly before hugging me.

"Alice has told me a lot about you. She thinks you're a pretty awesome person," Ness grinned before going to help with the oven where Alice was about to reach in with no gloves.

"Thank you guys for having us tonight," I sat down at a bar stool on the kitchen island. This house just looked perfect and I felt like I don't belong in it. A wrecking bull in a china shop came to mind.

"You can't do anymore damage then my wife Bella has," Edward answered behind me. I enjoyed that I didn't have to talk to get my questions or concerns answered but it was a bit of invasion of privacy. He just shrugged as he kissed Ness on the head and helped get plates out of the cabinet.

"I hope you like lasagna," Ness gave me a piece with some salad on the side.

"Love it," I smiled at her in thanks.

_"I made your favorite girls!" I heard mom shouting from the kitchen on a Sunday night. We could smell the goodness in the air but it also made us suspicious. Mom rarely cooked and when she did it was never elaborate. But lasagna was our favorite food but mom also used it as a "let down food". _

_"What happened?" Emily asked as we both sat at the kitchen table. Mom handed us both plates and put pieces of the cheesy noodle mess on them. _

_"We can't even get five minutes into dinner?" Mom said with a weary smile. Something was happening. Was mom dying? Was dad dying? Was Emily dying? Was I dying? Thoughts ran in my head but Emily broke them. _

_"We both know whenever you make lasagna that something bad is coming," Emily looked sad but still piled the food in her mouth. Enjoying the hotness from it. I took bites from mine still waiting on whatever bombshell it is this time. Usually long business trips to where one of them is gone for months or a family member died. _

_"Your father and I are getting a divorce," mom said with whatever confidence she could find before chugging from her wine glass and pouring more. Emily's fork dropped and I didn't dare to look up. _

_"Divorce?" Emily shouted. Our parents weren't the best together and we all knew that. But we never thought divorce would happen, not to them. Not to us. _


	29. Sighs

I sat in my bed the next morning recalling the details of the night before with the vampires. Alice was right, her and I would be great friends. Mainly due to the fact she was like Lucy and that made me like her. She gave me all of their numbers just in case the wolves weren't around and I needed help. Or if I just wanted to hang out. Apparently when I'm with Embry or one of others she can't see me. Only when I'm alone like now. I took a deep breath and blew it out. Emmett hung out with Jacob and Embry the whole night. Edward stuck around us girls and was happy to read my thoughts when I didn't feel like talking. I guess that power had perks and downfalls right? Ness was sweet even though technically she was only around 5 but looked 18. It was shocking to me but I tried not to think much of it. Alice sent me home with lasagna which I just have to Embry before he left. Lasagna reminded me that I still needed to go see my parents which I was avoiding. Maybe I should at least call them so if they see me at the festival tomorrow it's not a shock.

"Autumn you getting ready?" Emily knocked on the door, broke me out of my thoughts. Right, today was Seattle day. Today was also the day I told Embry about my life. He was ready for it but was I? I called out a quick yes before getting up and getting dressed in Emily's clothes again. I need to get my own clothes today. I grabbed my bag and unplugged my phone. Just as I was about to leave the room my phone rang. Unknown number.

"Hello?" I answered thinking it was probably some telemarketer or something.

"Hello, is this Autumn Young?" A woman's voice was on the other side. I also heard shouts and dings.

"Yes this is, who is this?" I heard April in the living room talking to Embry. Excited about today.

"This is Mary at the Forks Diner. I'm calling to offer you a job, starting Monday," she got right to the point. No interview, no questions, just straight to a job. What was the harm in getting some cash while I was here for a bit?

"Yes that would be great," I enthusiastically answered before thanking her and hanging up. 7am Monday morning would be a fresh start. A slow down job pace in a familiar place.

"You guys ready?" I came in the living room smiling. Emily was putting April's jacket on when she saw me which made her face go twist into confusion. Right, I was smiling in the morning. Weird.

"Forks diner hired me. I start Monday," I ruffled April's hair before looking at Embrys face lighting up. Me staying gave him hope for us and some part deep inside of me was also having hope about us. April gave kisses goodbye and grabbed my hand before pulling me to Embrys truck. He left it on to keep the heat going. We all piled in, April between us in her carseat, she was excited about this dress.

"Did you have fun last night?" Embry finally asked as we got out of town and finally on the highway. I sighed knowing this was the first of many today.

"I had fun. I like Alice a lot. Edward is also nice," I thought that his wife must have it nice. Never have to talk and he could just answer whatever is on her mind. A literal mind reader. His wife wasn't there, something about visiting her dad.

"Alice grew on us. Edward, not so much yet," Embry shrugged before turning the heat down. He was getting hot, sweat beads were on his forehead. I looked over at April to see her asleep, she barely got any sleep last night because of how excited she was. I could hear her in her room moving around or trying to play quiet, but quiet was not in her vocabulary yet.

"What do you want to know?" I asked while looking out the window. Rather get this over sooner then later.

"What was your childhood like?" Great. He was starting at the beginning. I exhaled a breath I didn't know I was holding in and started on everything. Scared of what he might think at the end.


	30. Answers

**This story will be ending shortly. Within the next ten chapters or so I believe. I'm trying my best to make them long and worth reading to the end. Thank you. Review, enjoy. **

"My childhood wasn't the best. Emily and I took care of each other more then our parents did. They were too busy working. Mom was never really meant to be a mom. Dad was the one who wanted kids, he worked all the time but when he wasn't working he tried to be there for us. It was easier when we were kids, as we got older he couldn't relate as much. They still don't know I'm back in town," I mentally reminded myself to call them today.

"Anyways, I left after Emily and Leah convinced me I was crazy. I stayed away for four years thinking I was crazy but I wasn't and I know that now. I was mad at first when I learned the truth but then I understood. I would have done the same, protect the pack first right?" I chuckled and looked over. Making sure he was listening.

"I left and moved out to California. I lived in my car for months, saving up from working a lot of jobs and a lot of hours. I barely had a social life until I met Lucy. I'm not saying I was an alcoholic or a drug addict but I did enjoy dabbling here and there. Made me forget everything. I also had down days though, depression has followed me throughout life. Something I get from mom, something I never could escape. After the second year out there it weighed on me more and more," What I was about to say next would either scare him or make him care more. Not even my family knew about this because I put Lucy down as my on all emergency forms.

"It weighed on me so much so that I tried to commit suicide. I tried to slit my wrists in the bathtub but unfortunately, or I guess fortunately now, Lucy found me. She came over to borrow a set of earrings while she thought I was at work and found me. I was in a mental hospital for about a month before being released. I thought Lucy wouldn't be my friend anymore but no, she stayed. She kept track of me. Got me a therapy appointments so I could get on some antidepressants to help. They kind of did," I bit my lip thinking about that day. The bathtubs water was pink when she found me. I was unconscious and still in my nightclub uniform. I don't know what made me do it or why, just knowing I was depressed and that the drugs weren't working anymore made me seem like I couldn't forget anything anymore. All memories and feelings just took over until I couldn't take it." Embry was quiet, focusing on driving but I could tell he was listening so I continued.

"It's honestly why I started getting tattoos. They covered up the scars so no one ever asked questions. I got every letter or picture Emily sent but I ignored them, always saved them though. I worked a lot. I also partied a lot. I slept with a lot of men. Some women," I knew I was bouncing all over the place but I was trying to just get everything out quick. I hated talking about my past.

"Is that why-" I cut his question off before he finished because I knew what he was going to ask. Is that why I didn't know the dad? I said yes and waited for more questions but he was waiting for me to continue. So I did.

"When I found out I decided to come back up here. Where I felt safe with Emily. So I left and came home," I ended my ranting. Not sure if it all made sense or if he even cared.

"And now you're staying?" He had hope in his voice.

"I got a job. I enjoy being around Emily and April a lot. I enjoy my new friends too," I could tell he wanted more but wasn't going to push.

"I also want to see what we become. Friends or more. I want to explore this," I refused to look at him because I knew the look he had. Beaming. Excited. But trying to hide it but fail. We were silent the rest of the ride, soon April woke up just as we were nearing the city, she was getting exited to go shopping for her dress. I reminded her that I also need to get some clothes but after all that we'd get lunch and head home. Embry just agreed with everything and was happy to be there.


	31. Shopping

April was carried on Embrys back as we made our way into the dress shop. We decided to go there first so April could get her items and be happy the rest of the time while I shopped. The lady at the counter smiled brightly as we walked in. April excited told her about the dress he had seen and of course the lady knew which one so they walked hand in hand to go find it. Embry and I looked around up front waiting to be called back to see the dress on her. I picked up a tiara and placed it on my head, Embry thought it was the funniest thing and that made me smile. I then grab a plastic wand from a shelf and ordered him to hush it. He did.

"Good boy," I joked and smiled. Joking with him was easy. Smiling with him was easy. It was the serious talks that were hard for me still. I knew I could trust him. I knew he wouldn't tell a soul anything. But my mind fights with that gut feeling I get and I know that hurts Embry.

"Why so serious princess?" Embry whispered as he noticed I was staring off into space and twirling the wand.

"What if we date and then we hate each other? Or you realize the imprint was wrong? Or if you just want to be my friend? Or if someone better comes along for you? Or what if -," before I could finish my last sentence Embry bent down and kissed me quickly and softly.

"With or without that imprint I would have chosen you still. I mean why not? Hot, funny, smart, wild," he listed off things he liked about me. And not that asset list normal guys listed off like boobs, butt, face.

"Now announcing Princess April," the lady from the front walked towards us with a beautiful sparkly April behind her. April's face was lit up, so happy she looked like she was going to cry. Embry kneeled like a knight does, damn she has the boys well trained. I also kneeled as I passed the wand to her so she could dub us. I looked at the lady and nodded as a sign we'd take it. The dress was long but Emily could alter it, it was unbelievable sparkly with sequins and beautifully designed. The lady rung up the dress, a wand and the tiara on my head. Along with fancy gloves that April insisted she needed as Embry helped her take the dress off and get in normal clothes. I rolled my eyes and added that to the pile. Total was 107.89 but totally priceless to see how happy she was. I may not have been around for the first few years but damn I'm going to make them all up to her. We waved goodbye and left to the streets again.

"I saw a thrift shop up this way, I'll just go in there," I have some money to Embry so they could go get us pretzels from the vendor across the street. He lifted April on his shoulders and before he walked away he turned and looked at me very seriously.

"If you need help at any point either just yell for me or use this," he slipped a small pocketknife in my hand. I nodded with a small smile, it had Pauls'name on it so I'm assuming it was Pauls and Embry took it. "Borrowed."

I turned to walk into the small thrift shop, headed towards the woman's section. I grabbed a few pair of blue jeans and a few pairs of black jeans for the waitress gig. I could still borrow Emilys sweatpants, she'll be fine without a pair or two. I went to the shirt racks and grabbed some sweaters, it would be getting chilly here soon and these would be needed. I also grabbed a few baggy shirts, ones that hid my body so I wouldn't be ogled like I had back in Cali. I knew the diner would give me some shirts for work so I didn't bother looking for anything like that. I decided that all would work for now since I was low on cash and made my way up to the register. I laid out all of my items on the counter and dug in my purse for my wallet.

"Hello Autumn," a man said behind me. I turned shocked to hear a man speak to me outside of Embry and the family and saw Edward. I smiled at him knowing I didn't have to say anything right now.

"Embry and April are eating pretzels still, they don't know I'm here," he hesitated for a second before continuing. "I needed to tell you information hoping you would be able to tell Embry so he could tell others," Edward handed his card over when the man said the total. He handed it over so quickly that I didn't even have a chance to pull out my cash. He just shrugged and waited for my answer. Even though he already knew.

"What news?" I asked while I took my bags from the employee. Edward began walking with me to the door but halted our steps right before we opened it.

"Our family must leave. At least just for a bit, people are getting suspicious so we need to lay low somewhere else for a bit," I wondered why he needed to tell me this.

"Because Ness isn't coming. If Ness comes then Jacob comes and Jacob has a duty here that makes him unable to join," it clicked in my head. Ness needed somewhere to stay, she couldn't stay in the glass house by herself and Jacob wasn't an option to stay with for Edward to be happy.

"I am willing to pay for the first year of an apartment on La Push land for you two to stay in. Then after that year if you choose to you can pay for it yourself but I think you would be the best person to teach her how to be human and get your freedom back too," Edward hit me with the word freedom and my mind jumped to say yes. Before I could change my answer and say anything else he just smiled.

"Great, I'll call you in a few days with details," he smiled and before I knew it he was gone and left me at the front door of the thrift shop.


	32. Calls

Embry had brought me a pretzel which I ate on the way home. April asked if she could watch a video on my phone while we drove the long way back and I agreed. I even gave her headphones so she wouldn't hear what we talked about. I saw how nosy this child can be and how she could get people in trouble by just opening her mouth.

"So I ran into Edward," I try to say nonchalantly but I could see the hairs on Embrys arm stand up. I forgot that even though they are friends his body still tells him they aren't.

"When? I didn't see him," I could see his eyes going back and forth trying to think if he just missed him or if he was crazy.

"The thrift shop. I was about to check out and when he appeared, we only talked for a few minutes before he was gone aagin," I didn't see the issue with Edward. I enjoyed his company because I didn't have to talk which some days could be exhausting.

"Anyways, he asked a favor," I didn't know how to word it. I'm going to live here for a while? I'm leaving with the half vampire though?

"And?" Embry wanted me to get the point, he was nervous. Edward made him nervous. That family made him nervous.

"They are leaving town. Something about laying low for awhile," I tried to think back on if he said they'd be back soon or not but I couldn't remember. "Ness is going to stay here because Jacob wouldn't be able to come due to his pack so he is going to find an apartment for me to live in with Ness to keep an eye on her," I tried to word it carefully. This gave me a whole new purpose out on life. I wasn't labeled crazy anymore because I wasn't. I didn't feel crazy now because I wasn't. I didn't feel no need to go back and live the party life. I didn't feel a need to leave my family behind again because amends were made and the love was back. Granted I haven't called my parents yet but that was a battle for later tonight.

"So you would be living here? Staying here?" He had excitement in his voice.

"I'd be living with Ness keeping her company and teaching her human life. Instead of vampire or wolf life," I winked knowing this poor girl was surrounded by so much paranormal it was outrageous.

"You're staying," he whispered mainly to himself but even without seeing his eyes I could tell he has a glow in them. I was starting to understand the imprint more and more as we spent time together. The pull. The desire. The want. Friends would become more in just a matter of time. There was no stopping it. And I understand I said just friends for now but every time we get like this and every time he gets excited for a future with me my stomach fills with butterflies. Just like in high school when he would glance my way or say hi. We both didn't know how the universe had our red strings tied together then.

We traveled the rest of the way home in silence minus the radio or April laughing about something on my phone. We all piled out of his truck and while April ran inside to greet everyone we stayed behind to get the bags. We walked in more silence and when we made it to the porch I sat my bags down before sitting on the porch swing. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up before patting the seat next to me, inviting Embry.

"I need to call my parents," I said after a minute. Thinking of what hell that may be. Emily was forgiving because she missed me. I was all she had for a long time. But my mom? Isn't forgiving. My dad? He would forgive but only because he missed us girls terribly when they divorced and moved out of the house. He didn't have a lot of time for us when he moved out because he then threw himself more into work to make sure he could keep his self afloat now. None of us ever admitted it but mom was the breadwinnner. Dad just did okay.

"They still don't know you're here?" He raised his eyebrows as he blew smoke away from his face. I remember that he didn't smoke so I stood up and sat on the railing instead. Maybe I should try and quit.

"I didn't know I was staying but after being here for a week it seems that would be what's best for me," I still wouldn't admit that if it wasn't for all these series of events the last week and a half that I wouldn't be here. The positive test, coming home for help, the miscarriage, the imprint and wolves, the dates, Emily, April.

"If you call them I can take you to see them. I'll stay in the car," he didn't push the imprint thing on me and I liked that. I made the calls and I liked that. I dug for my phone in my bag before scrolling to my moms number first. I saw I had a message from Lucy but I would read that in a minute.

"Hello?" She answered on the first ring. Great.


	33. Staying

My mother wasn't too pleased that I was back in town but also wasn't mad. She was neutral, told me to come visit if I wanted but if not it was fine. Of course she would make this difficult. Embry held my hand as I called my dad next. No answer though so I left a voicemail.

"Hey daddy, I'm in town...moving back actually. I was just hoping I could drop in and see you if you weren't busy. Anyways, bye," I tried to keep it all light but it was hard. I had just ignored him and pretended he wasn't even a thing for the last four years but I could make this right. Right?

"Things will be fine," Embry kissed my hand lightly before helping me carry the rest of the stuff inside finally. The others were getting ready for dinner while we sat everything in my room.

"Should I tell them all now?" I couldn't think of a better time. Tomorrow was the festival and we'd be too busy to all talk. Lucy was suppose to come tomorrow and everyone else had a part of the festival somehow.

"I think that would be best," Embry squeezed my hand before leaving to go join them at table. Maybe prep them for everything that I was about to say. I'm staying. Leaving with Ness. A half vampire. Embry seemed fine with it mainly because I was staying.

"Hey Autumn, come sit by me," April shouted who really on Sams lap. He was a good dad.

"I have an announcement and if I don't make it now then I won't know when I will," I simply stated. Everyone stopped. Forks in mouth. Emily frozen at the oven. April not caring. Sam looking with pleading eyes. Seth even overfilled his glass of water because he stop to look at me for too long. They were all scared I was going to leave. That I was going to say I was done here.

"I'm staying. I will be moving into an apartment soon with Ness," I looked over at Jacob who had stopped shoving a piece of garlic bread in his mouth.

"She's staying?" He almost chocked. Obviously Edward had not relayed all the information. Which made me wonder why he trusted me to do so?

"She is and I'll be living with her to watch over her. Teach her how to be normal," I tried to act like it wasn't a big deal. Because to me it wasn't. But to then I knew it was, me moving back home but keeping the parts of me I found in California. Emily was trying not to cry of happiness and Sam was trying to get up to comfort her but April wasn't having it. The rest smiled and Embry just was glowing. He knew what this meant. There would be an us. One way or another.

"Now if we could eat and get rest for tomorrow that'd be great," I joked before digging into my own plate of spaghetti. Emily was busy baking cookies for tomorrow so this was the easiest feed the troops dish. For the rest of the dinner we all ate and was happy. I stayed quietly mainly but rested my foot on top of Embrys under the table.

Soon enough it was April's bedtime and everyone else was leaving too. That's when my phone buzzed, it had been quiet in what seemed like forever. No one was contacting me from California anymore except Lucy and that was fine.

_Hey, I know I said I'd be up tomorrow but change of plans. I don't have enough to take off this week so..._

Well there goes Lucy. I wanted to tell her in person I had decided to stay. I bit my lip and went out on the porch. I know money was always tight with Lucy. Especially when I wasn't around to help with things like food or transportation now. Did I just fuck her over?

"Hey you okay?" Embry came out onto the porch. This seems to be our spot and that I enjoyed.

"Do you want to take a quick road trip?" I asked knowing if we left now we could be back by tomorrow night when the bonfire was happening at the beach. We could go to my apartment, pack a lot of it up that I wanted, say goodbye to Lucy for now and head back up.

"Sure, your car or mine?" Embry didn't ask anymore questions, just took my hand and led me to his truck. The wolves weren't working tomorrow, the Cullens would be on patrol so the wolves could enjoy the festival. We turned out of the driveway as I turned on my gps and sat it in the cup holder. Embry would take it from here so I turned up the radio and blasted '100 days' by AJR. It was time to say goodbye to my old new life officially.


	34. Goodbye

We arrived to my old apartment building in record time. It was only five in the morning so everyone in my building was either just getting home or sleeping still. We walked through the lobby, ignoring the sleeping sercirity man and walked up the stairs to my floor. I checked Lucy's apartment but she wasn't home so I went down to mine and unlocked my apartment and stepped in. I could smell the lavender bath bomb that was used recently, Lucy liked my bathtub better then hers so I never argued.

I turned on the lights and walked into my bedroom to grab a suitcase from under my bed. Embry was looking around. I watched him look at all my books. All my cds. All my blankets piled up neatly on the chair in the corner. He touched all my plants that I would be giving to Lucy, except for my catcus. That would come with me. I pulled a few important items out of dresser, my little black dress, my vintage poncho, my moms earrings I stole when I was seven, Emily's hoodie that I kept all these years. I grabbed my picture box full of Polaroids from my life here. I grabbed my makeup box and looked around that room before closing it. In the living room I grabbed my 'perks of being a wallflower' book off my coffee table. I moved into the kitchen and only grabbed my hello kitty mug.

Embry was looking through my fridge. He found recently leftover pizza and started eating it cold. Lucy has definitely been staying here. I grabbed my catcus from the windowsill and turned towards Embry.

"I need to leave a note then we can go. She's asleep now and I'm not gonna wake her," I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen before starting to write.

_Lucy,_

_You weren't home or I would have visited. Late night? Don't worry about coming to visit right now, you have time. Hell once I save up some cash I can help out for the week you take off to visit. Thank you for being my first real friend and I love you. _

I wrote Emily's address down for her since I wasn't sure where my new one would be yet. At least if she ever showed up to Emily's she would show up to good friendly people. Embry had my suitcase in hand a slice of pizza in the other. I blew kisses to my apartment before leaving my key on the counter. Lucy would turn it in for me and claim what she wanted from the place and sell the rest.

"Let's go," I closed the front door and touched it one last time. It was bittersweet for me but I know I was moving on to better things. A better life back home. Embry kisses the back of my head and grabbed my hand, I knew with him I could do anything. What I felt wasn't love yet, just the beginning of this magical relationship.

We headed back downstairs and pass the sleeping guard again. Once on the street we were about to head back to the truck until the I saw the breakfast burrito truck setting up.

"Hey, you want a taste of California?" I winked at Embry before dragging him to the stand. Embry was always hungry so this was an easy answer. I ordered us two breakfast burritos and before I could even tell Embry that it was spicy the first time you eat one he was already inhaling it. Then stopped and shouted when the spice heat. I busted out laughing before walking away from him, he should have waited. I climbed into the truck and held my catcus as Embry loaded up the suitcase in the back.

We sat there for a minute before I waved at my building and told Embry to go. This place was done now. Time to move on.


	35. Home

By the time we made it back to La Push it was getting later in the day. We only made two stops the whole way back up, one for gas and another for food since this man needs to eat every two hours or he acts like he's dying. The festival was just about done and everyone was leaving the main part of town. Embry and I decided just to go back to Emily's and wait for everyone to show back up there. We drove most of the way back in silence other then when he made fun of my catcus I had been holding the whole time. I told him that this thing could survive anywhere, just like me. In which he agreed. Once back to Emily's we got out and walked up onto the porch, we did our normal stop on the porch for me to smoke. But instead I just handed the pack to Embry and told him to hold onto them.

"Are you sure?" He asked as he tucked the pack in his back pocket of his jeans. I nodded sadly and took a deep breath.

"If we have the rest of our lives together then I guess I should make sure I live as long as possible, right?" Embrys eyes lit up. He knew what I was saying. I was accepting the imprint, there was no point in fighting. We sat in more silence, staring out into the yard while it began to rain.

"I could understand why you loved California. No rain right?" He chuckled as the famous weather started rolling in.

"Too much sun also got boring," I said in return. It was true, the sun was nice but it also got old. It was never changing and always a bit too hot. I couldn't wear my sweaters or hoodies like I wanted. Always shorts or dresses, never a real comfy moment unless you were inside. Plus the AC would always be on and that bill was always outrageous. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I knew it wasn't Lucy because she had texted an hour ago. She had sent me many crying emojis then a text stating she would be up in a month, no matter what she was coming to see her soul sister. I knew this would be hard on both of us but she understood my heart was now home. I vowed to her as soon as I could get all the money together I would help her be able to take the week off without worrying. Edward would be paying for the apartment for a year anyways. Which speaking of, Edward had texted. How did he get my number?

_Good evening Miss Autumn. I have found a house to rent in La Push, close to both Emily's and Embrys house. _

_Meet me at this address in an hour so I can give you the key for you to start moving in. Will explain more once you come. _

He had sent an address in another text which made me smile. I knew this house. It was a one story house back in the woods overlooking the beach. It was fenced in which automatically made me know I was getting a dog. I had never seen the inside though so I was excited. I told Embry I would drive this time as we got back up, walking over to my car now. We climbed in but before we could leave he grabbed my face and pulled me into a long sweet kiss. We stayed kissing like that for a moment before I had to pull away to breathe. I winked before pulling out of the driveway and heading towards my new house. How did Edward get this place? I definitely thought it had been occupied for years by an old widow by maybe she had finally moved or...died. But whatever it was Edward had gotten it. I didn't even need a gps to get there, I had seen this house so many times that I knew exactly where to go. As we pulled into the freshly paved driveway that would lead us to the house I got excited. My own spot. My own freedom spot.

"Calm down, you're like bouncing in your seat," Embry laughed as he placed a hand on my knee. I couldn't help it, I was excited. As we cleared the trees finally we saw Edward, Jacob, Ness, Jasper and Alice all standing in the screened in porch which was also a new addition. I wonder what was added to this house because obviously the Cullens had upgraded it. I parked the car, flung open the fence and ran to the porch to get out of the rain while Embry looked around behind me. He was checking security measures, worrier he was.

"Edward, how the hell did you land this place?" I asked as I hugged him tightly. He had no idea what he was doing for me. For Embry. For my family.

"I'm not saying we paid the old lady way more then it was worth but..." he winked at me before handing me my house key. I went and hugged Ness and fist bump Jacob. Alice pulled me into a long hug while Jasper waved at me and mouth 'I'm sorry'. I chuckled before stepping back as Embry just made it up into the porch. Jacob gave him one of those boy hugs as everyone else waved to him.

"Edward, you have no idea how much this means to me," he had a grateful ton in his voice.

"I think I do," Edward nodded his head over in the direction of his daughter and her mate. He definitely knew how important this was.

"Well come on! Let's go inside!" Alice shouted, I think she was more excited then anyone. I have a feeling all new additions were her doing.

"Her and Rosalie," Edward whispered behind me. Loved that power. He laughed as he held the front door open for all of us to go in. I was in shock at how homey and comfortable it felt. But still had that Cullen touch you could see. The living room was off to the left with two sofas and a giant recliner along with a tv on the wall and pictures of family and friends hanging up. Alice had even gotten pictures of Lucy and I which meant she did Facebook snooping. It was hardwood floors all around but rugs in important spots like in the living room and the hallway going down to the rooms. Across the living room was the kitchen that had all the updated appliances. The room was a pale yellow with signs that said 'eat here' and 'family is made here'. There was already food here, apples and bananas in a fruit bowl on the island and bread in the bread box.

"We'll also be sending money for groceries for the year. Two wolves are a lot to feed," Edward chuckled as I looked in the fridge and saw all the bulk items like eggs and bacon and potatoes.

"Come see our rooms!" Ness shouted from down the hallway. Embry was still taking in the living room but when he heard Ness called he followed us down the hallway. The hallway had art pieces which I knew was definitely a Roselie touch. I peeked into the bathroom which had a similar look to Emily's. Washer and dryer all the way on the back wall but this house had doors to hide them. The tub was hidden by a white curtain and the mats on the floor were also white to where the cabinets and the toilet were black, very chic. The mirror on the wall was a vanity mirror with bright lights and there was two sinks, one for me and one for Ness. Above the washer and dryer was black towels and cleaning supplies. Back out in the hallway Ness was standing next to the door on the left, her room since it had her name on the door. Her room had a queen size bed right in the middle. Above the room all around were fairy lights hanging up The closet had sliding doors and I could tell just by seeing the door somewhat open that it was a walk-in closet. Most likely another Rosealie touch. But what caught my eye the most was the sliding door looking directly onto the back screened in porch looking out at the water. I smiled as Alice turned me to my room where Embry was already laying on my bed, I knew he was exhausted from today and I promised myself to let him sleep as soon as I could. My room had the similar lay out to the other room. Walk-in closet, queen size bed, fairy lights and a sliding door. Simple but beautiful. I turned around holding back tears and hugged everyone.

"It's beautiful," I whispered to Alice as she held onto me tight. I was trying not to cry but the long hug did it. The tears spilled over.

"I told you she'd cry," Alice giggled as she rubbed my back and stuck her tongue out to someone. Probably Edward Who was laughing behind me.

"Now we do have rules before we leave," Jasper said in a bit of a authoritative tone. I nodded understanding there would be. We all followed him into the kitchen where we sat at the farm table. It was a beautiful piece of furniture

"Emmett made it," Edward told me as he sat down next to me. Embry didn't follow but I heard his snores so I decided to just let him sleep. He needed it, especially because he had midnight patrol shift.

"Now, rule number one, no parties," Jasper said this to me only. I'm assuming he knew my past. I nodded completely understanding. I also knew I would be too busy with work and Embry for parties. Plus, everyone had parties on the beach here, even in winter.

"Rule number two, call us if you need anything. Absolutely anything. Alice can only see you when the wolves are not around which I suspect will only be when they are working," Edward said with a slight complaining tone in his voice. He liked Jacob, I knew that but probably still didn't enjoy him around Ness all the time.

"Rule number three, we want to hear from one of you every day so we know everything is okay," Alice placed a hand on both Ness and I. We both nodded.

"And the final rule," Edward looked mainly at Jacob.

"You may only sleep on the couch. Never in her bed," he glared at him. At least he knew that he would be staying here and we wouldn't have to lie. We both nodded while trying not to smile. He didn't say anything about Embry but I guess he couldn't. He knew I would disobey that rule, Ness wouldn't.

"We need to be hitting the road," Alice sadly announced as she stood from the table. We all nodded and stood up. Everyone gave hugs tightly, even Jasper hugged me. Edward and I stared intently at each other, without even talking we were thanking each other. I was thanking him for giving me this place and letting me stay here with no second thoughts. He was thanking me for watching his daughter and keeping her safe. After a minute he cleared his throat and they all headed out. Even Ness and Jacob went to go walk them to their cars for their own goodbyes. I sighed before walking down the hallway, following the sound of snores. I climbed into my bed and curled up next to him in which he cuddles into me. I stared out the door watching the waves and rain mix together as I slowly drifted off to sleep next to him.

I was home.


End file.
